Judge Sturman will have none of your nonsense. Good day, sir. I said GOOD DAY.

Well, so much for Phase One of Donald Trump's attempt to sue the Mexican Vote out of existence. Judge Gloria J. Sturman denied the Trump campaign's lawsuit requesting Clark County Clerk Joe Gloria sequester all the voting machines and records from Friday night at four early voting locations, because RIGGED SYSTEM. Yr Wonkette is not a lawyer, but it appears Sturman denied the request for a several reasons: because Nevada law already requires preservation of ballots and voting materials, because the campaign had not taken their complaint to the Secretary of State first, and because she wasn't about to make the names of poll workers public. But mostly -- and we may not have the legal terminology precisely right -- because Trump's lawyer was A Idiot:

Trump's lawsuit certainly made some pretty strong claims, like so!

The suit claims a Trump poll watcher, Ronald Ketcham, saw the poll workers at one early voting location keep the location open until 10:00 pm in a deliberate effort to let additional people vote for Democrats; the head of the polling location, identified only as "Joe," supposedly revealed a shocking fact to Mr. Ketcham:

Two other Trump poll watchers also said they saw people arriving and taking their place in line well after the prescribed poll closing time of 8:00, and that not only were people not kept from joining the line after 8:00, they were encouraged to do so.

Judge Sturman didn't even get to any of this, however, because Trump's attorneys appeared to be asking for something impossible: to have ballots submitted after 8:00 held apart from all the others, so if Trump could get a ruling that the location was open too long, those votes could be invalidated. Sturman didn't have a lot of patience for Trump attorney Brian Hardy, pointing out that Nevada election law already requires all ballots be preserved, but they don't have time stamps on them, and besides, the lawsuit only asked that all ballots and voting materials be preserved, which is already state law, so what on earth are you even asking for?

"I am not ordering him (Gloria) to preserve anything," she said, adding, "This is Election Day. He has other things to be doing."

In addition, Nevada's voting law doesn't specify a closing time for early voting. The law does say polls must close at 7:00 p.m. on Election Day (accommodating any voters still in line), but the early voting rules only specify a minimum amount of time for early voting, not a maximum. Oh, and there's more:

On top of everything else, Judge Sturman said that Trump failed to follow proper procedure because he never notified the Nevada Secretary of State, who she said was a key player in all this. After pointing out all the flaws in Trump’s case, Judge Sturman finally cut off his attorney, telling him to “Have a seat.”

Josh Marshall at Talking Points Memo thinks maybe there's a pretty compelling reason Judge Sturman wasn't too impressed by Trump's legal team: Both specialize primarily in construction law. One also works in insurance, the other in family law. Neither is an expert in election law.

Jon Ralston, the God Emperor of Nevada political reporters, was decidedly amused:

Needless to say, this was only the first Dumbth Outbreak from the Trumpers. However this election turns out, we're going to be hearing about the Outrageous Cheating in Nevada forever. If Trump loses, endless lawsuits and whining about the rigged system. If Trump wins, endless revenge. Either way, there will be House hearings, and considering this is Nevada, possibly an armed standoff.

[Vanity Fair / CNN / Las Vegas Review-Journal / LawNewz / TPM / Jon Ralston on Twitter]