SOTU Drinking Game: You've Already Lost

I've been neglecting our mandate: drinking rules for the State of the Union tonight. (Incidentally, Wonkette herself will be live-blogging the SOTU tonight. You know, for those of you who don't have TV, radio, or high-speed internet. Oh and also she'll be nude. I think. Or maybe she said lewd, I wasn't really listening.)

As always, if you haven't started drinking already, you're never gonna win. Also, please join us in drinking the Purple Finger, which is 1 part cassis, 1 part grenadine, and 1 part vodka. Freedom never tasted so sickly sweet—but you're warned, the hangover is a bitch.

· Every time "Iraqi vote" referenced: 1 tiny sip. (Pace yourself on that one, seriously.)

· "Mandate": touch yourself to gay porn mag Mandate.

· John McCain spits on floor: chug-a-lug!

· Mentions "WMD": smash bottle in face.

· Says "Plowing through": titter like a girl.

· Tricky one: "On Monday, we will reveal details..": 2 drinks.

· Annual fave, "status quo": 1 smack on the head.

· Whenever Cheney sneers like Mephistopholes: 1 drink.

· Social Security reverse psychology: Bush says "insecurity": 3 drinks down the wrong tube, resulting in choking among the uninsured.

· "Spreading freedom": slather on some freedom.

· Names "Barbara Boxer": fall off couch in shock.

· Mention of twins: hump couch.

· Every time Condi is pictured while clearly doing Kegels: 1 shot of chai tea.

· Bush unable to prevent himself from breaking into hysterical laughter: drain all nearest bottles.

· Hillary faints, again: 1 oyster shooter.

· Mentions "Iran": stop drinking and start fucking packing.

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DHS photo (Every damn ICE pic looks like this)

Donald Trump's immigration goon squads were all set to start mass arrests and deportations of families in multiple cities Sunday, but before the raids started, he tweeted Saturday that he'd decided to delay the operation by two weeks -- to allow Democrats a chance to join Republicans in trashing US asylum law. Trump took a phone call Friday evening from Nancy Pelosi urging him to hold off on the raids, although it's also possible that internal disagreements about the operation at the Department of Homeland Security may have been part of the reason for the delay, too. In the meantime, Trump gets to terrify undocumented families some more and rant about deporting "millions," although the planned operation was actually targeted only at a couple thousand people who have already received deportation orders.

Immigration and Customs Enforcement had been gearing up to start raids in 10 US cities, including Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami, and Baltimore, to show how tough America is, and never mind that the sweeps would certainly have led to more family separations, as ICE scooped up at least some undocumented parents of children born in the US. The news also comes while the media is reporting filthy, inhuman conditions at the border camps where newly arrested immigrants, including babies, are being packed in, leading to plenty of awkward questions about why the government suddenly wants to arrest more people in the interior of the country? (Hint: President Eichmann just announced his reelection bid.)

The Great Deporter announced the delay of the operation Saturday by Twitter, as if that were normal, then followed up with more bluster Sunday.

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Kamala Harris was holding it down at the South Carolina Democratic Convention this weekend, and she wasn't just there to kick it at Clyburn's Fish Fry, hang out with Berndog Sanders, and just look extra good. No. She fucking running for President, and she's actually got a chance, unlike the many Mayo Casserole Men who keep jumping into the damn race. Why did they jump in after Kamala and Elizabeth Warren, the only people who are even running, clearly said, "We got it from here, boys"? Not sure, but regardless, it was unnecessary. Doesn't matter anyway because who is gonna remember Dadface McDorksky when Kamala is turning it the fuck out with speeches indicting Trump?

Do you believe in America? Kamala Harris believes in America, and her Saturday speech calls out for justice, and righteousness; where Barack Obama struck hopeful, dulcet, aspirational tones, Harris strikes sharp chords of urgency. To say that she read Trump the riot act would be, and is, an understatement; what she did here raised a crucial reality that some Dems refuse to see. Trump MUST be prosecuted. The Democratic nominee will wear many hats, and one of the most important of those hats is that of a prosecutor. There is a case to be made against Donald J. Trump, hell, there are so many cases, and as far as Harris is concerned, who better to make that case, but a COP? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kamala Harris at the South Carolina Democratic Convention June, 22 2019

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