Spend A Saturday Battling Random Strangers With Cardboard Tubes!

Have you heard of this secret society called theCardboard Tube Fighting League? They plan on infiltrating the National Mall on July 26 for some good old-fashioned papergoods warfare, and they will take all comers. How much would you pay to engage in this exciting activity? Several hundred dollars, you say? Joke's on you, suckers, it is FREE.

Details from Craigslist:


Saturday, July 26th, 2008

3:00 pm

Entry Fee:


What to bring:

Water, cameras, postitive attitude


cardboard armor, costumes are encouraged.

Business suits are also highly encouraged for this event.

Expect to encounter a gaggle of angry Paultards yelling about how they called dibs on the National Mall for their cardboard armor battles.

"Washington War Dance" [Cardboard Tube Fighting League]

7/26: Free Cardboard Tube Fighting League Tournament - Washington D.C. (National Mall) [Craigslist]

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Video screenshot, CBS 4 Miami

The mass murders at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut, and at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, are still killing people. Two survivors of Parkland killed themselves in the past week, and this morning, the body of the father of one of the Sandy Hook children was found in Newtown. And something like 35,800 guns will be sold today, if 2019 stats are comparable to 2018 sales figures. But cheer up -- without Barack Obama scaring everyone with his promise to take all the guns, that's down 16 percent from the highest gun sales in history in 2016. Then again, despite the lower gun sales, there were nearly 40,000 deaths caused with firearms in 2018. It was the third record year in a row. We're Number One.

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