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Our Friends At Penzeys To Paul Ryan: You've Got To Be Kind!

Obamacare stories AND stuffed lamb meatballs? Thanks, friends at Penzeys!

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Go Solar For Christmas, Even If You Live In A Cave! It's A FESTIVUS MIRACLE!

Here comes the sun -- and you can harness its mighty power!

You'll be getting real solar power, not just a stock photo!

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Now Is The Time For All Good Wonkers To Come To The Aid Of Our Dick Jokes

Hello there, beautiful wonderful Wonkers we love! You are looking very intelligent today! Is that a new sweater? We need money.

Hello there, beautiful wonderful Wonkers we love! You are looking very intelligent today! Is that a new sweater? We need money.

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What's Up With All These Dumb Gross Ads At Yr Wonkette Dot Com? A Wonksplainer

Wonkers! There you are, just trying to read your dick jokes in peace, and some fucking thing keeps looping and crashing your browser. Or there's a fucking poll that sounds like it was written by Steven Crowder (it probably was). Or some goddamn footer takes about a minute to appear and then a minute to close. WHY IS WONKETTE DESTROYING YOUR DICK JOKE EXPERIENCE???

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Switch To Clean Energy, Help The Earth And Your Wonkette All At Once With One Non-Weird Trick

Here's a company that's using the good ol' free market to expand the reach of clean wind power. You want to save the planet, don't you?

Why isn't Mercedes sponsoring wind farms? The branding is right there!

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Oh Whoops We Just Forced You To Buy This Shirt Of Hillary Clinton Cutting Off Trump's Head

Do you know the story of Judith and Holofernes? Judith was a rad Jewish woman, and Holofernes was a ... Roman? general who wanted to rape her. She was like "cool, Holofernes, I will just come to your tent and attend to your boner, no problem, awesome Jewish chick coming at ya," and then she CUT OFF HIS HEAD.

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Elections

Truck Fump! Truck Him Right In His Ear!

Truck Fump never looked so good

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The 2016 Wonkette Winter Wonksicle Tour, By The Numbers

Hi South Dakota! and GOODBYE FOR EVER!

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Well I Guess We Have To Make You This 'Election Game Of US America Elections: The Game' Now

did you know in england a trump is slang for a fart?

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Wonkette Dick Jokes Now Officially Sponsored By These Nice Penis Pump Folks!

Is that gorgeous unit a penis pump for YOUR UNIT? Why yes, it is!

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The State Of The Wonkette Union Is 'Grifty'

Friends, Wonkers, perverts, lend us your danglies and your girl-danglies, and also listen up, sons (and girl-sons)! We come before you today to tell you that in 2015 you gave Wonkette $79,071 straight from your EBT cards, and that doesn't even count what we tapped straight from your wired-open eyeballs like that scene in A Clockwork Orange! I mean, it's no "bigot pizza," but holy shit! YOU GUYS.

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Bend Over, It's Time To Cram Your Throat With A Piece Of Gay Marriage History!

Official Friend of Wonkette For Real Thom Kostura helped you put a homosexxican ring on your beloved's finger -- what else you put a ring on is protected by Lawrence v. Texas -- and he also can help you pretty up that spot over your couch!

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Culture

A Review Of 'The Enthusiast,' Josh Fruhlinger's Non-Violent Book Partially About Cartoons, By Josh Fruhlinger

Hello cheery Wonkette people! It is I, Josh Fruhlinger, whom you may vaguely remember as the guy who used to make fun of political cartoons around here, and also do regular (?) blogging as well, before I abandoned you. Anyway, let me confess something to you all: I have always wanted to be more like Wonkette immortal Sara Benincasa, specifically in the senses that she is (a) relentlessly productive (having just signed her eleventeenth book contract while also writing a screenplay) and (b) she is not shy about promoting her awesome stuff! So, in an effort to follow in her footsteps, I hereby am following in her footsteps and reviewing my own book, The Enthusiast, here on Your Wonkette. Spoiler alert: it's really good and you should buy at least one but probably several copies, immediately.

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