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Russia

Like A Very Stupid Bull In A NATO Shop. Wonkagenda For Thurs., July 12, 2018

Trump threatens to kill NATO, Paul Manafort loses VIP status, and Papa John is quit-fired. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Russia

NEWS INCOMING. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 9, 2018

Another prime time Supreme Court shitshow, baby jails somehow get worse, and Jim Jordan's locker room talk. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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News

Ohio State Sports Doc Molested Thousands. Keep Rep. Jim Jordan OUT OF IT!

Just look the other way.

Holy Trigger Warning, Batman! NBC just dropped a story on a molesting sports doctor at Ohio State University, and it is HORRIFYING.

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Featured

TFW Devin Nunes Tries To Troll LeBron James But Just Ends Up Dunking On Himself

Get back underneath your cow, Devin.

Devin Nunes, smart person, took some time out of being an unregistered foreign agent for the Russian Federation to react to news that LeBron James has signed a four year, $145 million contract to play for the Lakers.

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WARBLOGGING

A Foul Wind Blows. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 2, 2018

House Republicans back away from That Wall, Trump leaks FART, and North Korea won't 'de-nuke.' Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Everywhere Else News

Burger King Reconsiders Plan To Tell Russian Ladies To Get Knocked Up By Soccer Players

Well, that's one way to sell a Whopper.

What would you do for three million rubles and a lifetime supply of Burger King Whoppers? If the answer is "Have the baby of a random professional soccer player I met during the World Cup," you just missed out on the chance of a lifetime. Because Burger King Russia was just offering such a promotion, and has had to cancel it, because for some reason, people thought a "burgers for broodmares" promotion was a tad sexist.

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Elections

Is Baby Gonna Cry? Wonkagenda For Thurs., June 21, 2018

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Post-Racial America

No Disloyal Eagle-Men Will Taint Donald Trump's America First Super Bowl Celebration!

Eagles fans won't even have a chance to riot at the White House now :(

This bird of prey was an excellent judge of character.

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Post-Racial America

NFL Compromise: Kneeling Players Have Three-Fifths Free Speech Rights

Fuck Roger Goodell.

Where's my old book of negro spirituals at? We sho' gon' need it if we're going to be ready for the NFL Plantation. Fucking Roger Goodell has done enough shit already to make a fan spit tacks but this move is another exponential level and he has the monotone whispery gall to call it a compromise. Fuck all the way outta here with another scandal under your tenure, Goodell.

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2017 State and Local Elections

One Year Later. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 16, 2018

Michael Cohen's got a BIG problem, it's military warehouses for kids at the border, and the #Vagenda claims another big victory. Your morning news brief.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Sportsball

Winter Olympians Invite Trump To Meet At The GO FUCK YOURSELF Bar And Grill

We are sorry the women's hockey team had to witness his bizarre riff on the Paralympics, though.

Better things to do.

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Post-Racial America

O.J. Simpson, Of All People, Thinks He Has Room To Criticize Colin Kaepernick

What a world!

In an wide-reaching interview with the Buffalo News, O.J. Simpson --yes, O.J. Simpson -- expressed his disapproval of Colin Kaepernick, and all the other football players kneeling during the national anthem in protest of police brutality.

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Culture

America's Greatest Artist, Jon McNaughton, Proudly Presents Donald Trump's Sad Wrinkled...Flag

Sean Hannity may know nothing about art, but he certainly knows nothing about how to stir up controversy.

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

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Everywhere Else News

Sally Field Will Be Adam Rippon's Mother-In-Law If It's The Last Damn Thing She Does

If her son is being a pill about this, Sally Field is free to Adopt A Wonkette and set us up with whomever she'd like.

she's schemin'

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Trump

The Week In Garbage Humans: 'Trump Curse' Prevented Lindsey Vonn From Getting A Medal

Also this is your open thread!

Given the events of the last week, I'm going to be steering clear of the usual manosphere forums I usually scan for this feature. I just... I can't. It's too sickening and too real, and I don't feel like making wisecracks right now about these people so close to seeing the real life consequences of their fucked-up belief system.

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Sportsball

Here Is Adam Rippon SING-SKATING To Rihanna, Because Of Course He Is

Oh look at me, I'm Adam Rippon, I'm good at stuff.

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