Nice Time

Some Good News For Week 176 Of Hell

NASCAR shitcans traitor flag, José Andrés to make elections delicious, and LeBron James drives to the basket polls.

It's been another crappy week in the Trump Era (week 176 since he took office, don't you feel old? WE DO). So you could probably use some nice news for a change! And even now, while the "president" is pledging fealty to the Confederacy, there's good news out there! Take heart, or Zoloft, and be of good cheer!

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Culture Wars

Ben Shapiro Says His 'Space Of Comfort' Has Been Destroyed By Politics In Sports

Is there another term for that?

Ben Shapiro is not happy.

He likes to watch sports. He considers watching sports to be his "place of comfort." Unfortunately, people in sports and those who write about sports keep having opinions he doesn't like or approve of, and how is that fair?

The only way to solve this problem, Ben Shapiro thinks, is to create two separate leagues for every sport — one where the players can have opinions and protest and do whatever they want, and one in that is regulated so that the players understand they are just dancing ponies who exist for Ben Shapiro's entertainment and don't say anything that might upset him or challenge his worldview.

"It's getting to the point where I don't want to watch sports," Shapiro explained during his show on Monday. "My place of comfort has been removed from me and it may not be restored until there are actual sports leagues that remove politics from the sports."

Place of comfort. Place of comfort, he says. Is there another term for that? I feel like it's on the tip of my tongue.

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Post-Racial America

We’ll Believe NFL Is Serious About Black Lives Mattering Once Colin Kaepernick Is Back On The Field

Put up or shut up.

Football players have for years now kneeled during the national anthem to protest racial injustice and police brutality. It was a sadly prescient symbol, as a couple weeks ago, on Memorial Day, police officer Derek Chauvin kneeled on George Floyd's neck until he died.

Mostly black athletes peacefully expressing their First Amendment rights were roundly criticized. Law enforcement was self-involved enough to interpret “Black Lives Matter" as a personal attack and corrupt enough to co-opt the phrase for their nonsense slogan “Blue Lives Matter." So, it wasn't surprising that conservatives declared “taking a knee" as inflammatory as flag burning, a spit in the face to veterans and America. Donald Trump called the kneeling players “sons of bitches" and demanded that (mostly white) team owners fire them, because he's never understood how the Constitution works.

Former San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick pioneered taking a knee and he paid the price for it. He was blackballed and hasn't played professionally since 2017. The Seattle Seahawks refused to sign him unless he committed to standing for the national anthem like a good little boy. Kaepernick's former teammate, Eric Reid, who was the first to join him in kneeling, was close to a contract with the Cincinnati Bengals but team owner Mike Brown ordered Reid not kneel. This had little to do with supposed “patriotism" or even backlash from fans, most of whom didn't care. It was about control. As Houston Texans owner Bob McNair grossly said, “We can't have the inmates running the prison." Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones wanted an industry-wide mandate that players stand for the national anthem or face a fine. Because nothing says “the land of the free" more than involuntary expressions of patriotism. All that mattered is that these black players eventually get their minds right and accept the name “Toby."

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sex crimes

Fly The Rapey Skies With United Airlines

Airline protects drunk white woman who assaulted two black men on a redeye flight.

Back in February, during a redeye flight from Los Angeles International Airport to Newark Liberty International Airport. a woman made unwanted sexual advances toward an NFL player and his traveling companion. They're both black men, and she's white. That's worth mentioning because you can't imagine anyone daring to fuck with a professional football player, but this woman acted like she was in the front row at Chippendales.

According to a lawsuit the men filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court, the two men complained several times to the United Airlines flight attendants but they didn't do anything. Perhaps they were too busy blocking the aisle with the bland snack tray so no one could use the bathroom.

The woman become more aggressive and tried to remove the football player's face mask, which he was wearing as a precaution against COVID-19. Yeah, this was February 10. The brother was proactive. Most of us were still shaking hands and licking doorknobs. The mask was also not all the woman grabbed.

"While touching John Doe 1's face, assailant grabbed John Doe 1's penis and ripped off his face mask," the lawsuit said.

That's horrible and traumatic. It never should've gotten to that point. When the player left to seek help, the woman moved on to his companion, grabbing his leg and groin.

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