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St. Patrick's Day: The Hanukkah of Drinking Holidays

Wonkabout

Though it's only a one-day celebration, area bars have managed to stretch St. Patrick's Day into about a week and a half of green beer and bangers and mash specials. We'll have another installment of Irish drink specials next week, but a listicle of all the scholarly pursuits you can undertake during this most holy of weekends awaits, after the jump!


  • Right now!: The name is vomit-inducing, but DC101's annual Keg and Eggs event at 9:30 Club has free Guinness and live shows by Filter, Hoobastank, and Carbon Leaf. Did we mention the free Guinness? 7:30AM to noon. HURRY. [9:30 Club]
  • Saturday, March 14: It would be remiss to exclude the Shamrock Festival at RFK Stadium, the self-proclaimed "Hottest St. Paddy's Festival in America!" For $24.99 (and rising), there are more than 50 bands, 11 "party zones," Irish pub games, and pretty much everything else you'd require to keep 20,000 people entertained for eight hours. All ages, 1PM to 9PM. [Shamrock Fest 2009]
  • Saturday, March 14:The curiously exclusive Capital Club of Washington opens its arms to anyone with $10 (or $20, dudes) and a desire to visit K Street Lounge. The suggested attire is "urban leprechaun," which solves the eternal mystery of what to wear. Yep. 9PM to 12AM. [K Street Lounge]
  • Saturday, March 14: If you have a car, and two or three friends, and a sober driver (tall order, we know), you can join the Flying Dog Brewery's Search for the Pot O'Golden Ale in Frederick, Maryland. The treasure hunt ends with a private afterparty at the brewery. It costs $20 per person, and $25 the day of -- but the designated driver gets in free. Starts at 6PM at the Flying Dog Brewery. [Search for the Pot O'Golden Ale, via Facebook]
  • Saturday, March 14:The screening of Irish film Eden at the O'Goethe-Institut is one of the few events this weekend not exclusively centered on drinking. But there is an open bar, in case you were worried. $20 includes film and drinks. 9PM. [Washington Film Institute]
  • Sunday, March 15: Shake off the delirium tremens and bring your whole family to D.C. St. Patrick's Day Parade! This wholesome event, marshalled by anchor babe Norah O'Donnell, starts at noon on Constitution Avenue. [D.C. St. Patrick's Day Parade]
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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to www.famoushotels.org.

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.



In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

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