Stage Set for Alan Keyes Landslide in Iowa
Some new polls came out over the weekend, and guess who's in a dead heat? Every candidate in the entire universe! That means Clinton, Obama, and the SURGING Edwards among Demrats, and then Huckabee and the RESURGING Mittens for the other team. Check in tomorrow for the latest Iowa SURGE news on the GODDAMN SURGE-OBSESSED POLITICAL INTERNETS(tm).
The Democratic contest is so dead-heatish that you don't even need to give a shit about margins of error to call it a dead heat. John "always the bridesmaid, never the... winner of the Democratic nomination" Edwards is one hot potato these days, but so are the other two: three polls late last week and over the weekend showed the race (in percentage points) at 24-23-22, 28-29-29 and 29-30-28. Which numbers represent which candidate, you ask? How should I know!? It's too close to tell, and I can't read! Dead heat I say!
But no heat is deader in Iowa than that between Teh Huckbeez and Mittens the Romney. The Huckaboom (I'm sorry, Drudge, I meant to say "HUCKABOOM BOOM BOOM") is entirely over now that we actually know how crazy this guy is, so Wonkette soon can go back to the days of ignoring him (ahh, sweet sweet Cocktober):
Three days left! Plenty of time for Ben Johnson to make a SURGE if he runs. You heard it here first.