Stand Up For God By Giving Allen West Your Money


Remember when we told you about how the DNC delegates did that voice vote about putting God and Jerusalem in the platform, and the mayor of Los Angeles just made up the results, and then it kind of looked like the Democrats were booing God?

Don't worry, somebody noticed.

Though the stupid fake voice vote is pretty much meaningless, Rep. Allen West (R-Kabul) specializes in stupid fake things that are pretty much meaningless (see: 18th-century treaties).

"Dems deny God 3 times. Allen is leading our fight against the radical left," his campaign posted on Facebook.

And then, the most predictable of campaign imperatives: "Donate."

And there's even a fancy graphic! So all your Facebook friends will know that you have Defended God with your Holy Pile Of Campaign Cash.

Because whoa, everybody, how could you NOT be so outraged that the Democrats leave God out of their platform! This is America, where the Establishment Clause only counts if it wasn't "the faith of the founding fathers," which we have decided includes hating gay people and something about believing in lake monsters.

Also, it's kind of his job now to be making Big Stinks, since Mitt Romney named him co-chair of the Romney Council on Why Don't Any Black People Like Me, next to Rep. Tim Scott and Florida Lt. Gov. Jennifer "I Did Not Fellate That Woman" Carroll.

This is a familiar West tactic: Make something up, then ask for money to FIGHT THE MARXISM. Last time he pulled it, he was telling people Bill Maher called him an ape (and also taking credit for leading the Republican Party).

Just so you know, the Democrats do use "God" once in their platform:

We need a government that stands up for the hopes, values, and interests of working people, and gives everyone willing to work hard the chance to make the most of their God-given potential.

Well, that's nice, in a doesn't-mean-anything-in-particular kind of way. How do the Republicans use "God" in their platform (PDF)?

...our rights come from God...

Ok, that's pretty tame.

We offer our Republican vision of a free people using their God-given talents...


We are the party of the Constitution, the solemn compact which confirms our God-given individual rights...

Got it.

In a free society, the primary role of government is to protect the God-given, inalienable, inherent rights of its citizens...

Really. It's pretty clear.

We acknowledge, support, and defend the lawabiding citizen’s God-given right of self-defense...

Well, that's kind of new. Stand your ground — for the Lord. Still, though, the Dems are saying the same stupid thing as the GOP. What are we arguing about again? That random delegate-folk booed a sham vote?

To be fair, there's a little more in the GOP platform with the "God" stuff:

We condemn decisions by activist judges to deny children the opportunity to say the Pledge of Allegiance in its entirety, including “Under God,” in public schools and encourage States to promote the pledge. We condemn the actions of those who deny our children the means by which to show respect for our great country and the constitutional principles represented by our flag.

Ah, there it is! How dare Democrats not agree with the GOP on this issue! Showing respect for the Constitution means children are made to recite patriotic pledges with state-prescribed religious language in it. To suggest courts take a look at its constitutionality would be disrespectful to Constitutions everywhere.

But, in case you've forgotten that the Constitution says pretty specifically that the state can't just be deciding which religions to endorse, a certain party put the language of it on the front cover of its platform:

Oh, forget the technicalities, the Democrats booed God! And Allen West needs money! Also, attention. A lot of attention.

So much, in fact, that he's practically been live-blogging the DNC himself. We had one (er, a bunch), but without West would we have ever learned that Democrats hate Jews, for example, and that an Obama slogan, "Forward," is actually "the Marxist/Socialist theme from the old Soviet Union"? It's so true!

(Nazis have dibs on the Charlie Chaplin mustache, and Marxists have dibs on any verbs Democrats happen to use ever.)

Oh, and also, Michelle Obama said that the "great American dream" for some might happen to be gay marriage, but West reminds us that this is not true.

I thought serving a career in the military in several combat zones was patriotic...and being the third of four generations which has done so. Well Mrs. Obama, THAT is the American dream, and why I have always been proud of my country.

Shame on you, Mrs. Obama. Everyone knows icky sinner-gays are not the American dream — killing Bad Guys is the American dream, duh, and Allen West is here to remind us about it.

Thank God.


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