coronavirus

Hero Nursing Home Chain Did All It Could To Stop COVID-19 Except When It Didn't

Pobody's Nerfect!

One of the biggest nursing home chains in the country, Life Care Centers of America, has an itty-bitty problem following federal guidelines on infection control, according to federal inspection documents obtained by the Washington Post. The company insists it's really doing its very best in a difficult situation, so if you want to know who's really falling down on the job, it's the media, which is reporting on the deficiencies, like staff members who were observed by federal inspectors not wearing masks, not washing their hands, or not enforcing isolation of infected patients at several facilities run by Life Care, OK?

It's a very difficult situation, and we're all trying our best, especially the Republicans who want to make sure nobody gets sued for negligence during this pandemic.

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2020 Congressional Elections

Insider-Trading Disney Villain Kelly Loeffler Will Lose Her Senate Seat In Either November Or January

The suspense is killing us. We hope it lasts.

Kelly Loeffler, previously Number 6 from "Battlestar Galactica," is in big trouble. When Georgia's governor gives you a Senate seat with a side of curly fries, you shouldn't jeopardize your upcoming special election by reminding voters you exist, which Loeffler's done at the worst possible time, smack dab in the middle of a pandemic she might've profited from.

Thursday, Loeffler's office confirmed that the senator "forwarded documents and information" to the Department of Justice, the Securities and Exchange Commission, and the Senate Ethics Committee. Loeffler wants us to believe, because she apparently thinks we're stupid, that "she and her husband acted entirely appropriately and observed both the letter and the spirit of the law" when they unloaded millions in stocks like drowning rats after attending "COVID-19 is a bummer" briefings. She also bought stock in Citrix, a tech company that offers teleworking and eLearning software, while simultaneously assuring her constituents that Krypton was merely shifting its orbit.

Jor El and the Council of Krypton | Superman youtu.be

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Right Wing Extremism

Armed Thugs Close Michigan Legislature, Hooray For Democracy!

Someday the Tyranny Against Haircuts may end.

A bunch of armed loons showed up at the Michigan state Capitol in Lansing Thursday to once more demand an end to the state's stay at home order. But this time they weren't able to go inside and scream in cops' faces or walk around with guns in the House gallery, because the Lege decided to adjourn Wednesday without holding a planned Thursday session. The state House and Senate will instead return to work on Tuesday. The Detroit News reports about 300 protesters showed up this time, considerably fewer than the April 30 rightwing rally for the right to spread infectious disease without constraint, as the Founders wanted.

Yesterday's rally was organized by a group calling itself "Michigan United for Liberty," yet another wingnut group connected to anti-vaxxer death cults. The group gave the protest the not-at-all-threatening theme "Judgement Day." But that can't be threatening, not with a friendly font like this!

The armed crowd also included members of the "Michigan Liberty Militia," which we'll assume isn't formally related to the anti-vaxxers, but who knows — they're all united by a desire to give the word "Liberty" a bad name, and to breathe freely right in your face, no matter what they're infected with. (Freedom. They are infected with FREEDOM.)

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coronavirus

White House Forces CDC To Edit Reopening Recs Down To Helpful Haiku, So We're All Good Now

You first.

It's never a good sign when not a single person at the agency rolling out a policy will put his or her name on it. If the poor slob pitching the product insists on anonymity with reporters, then he's probably flogging a pile of shit that he doesn't want to appear in a Google search next to his name. Case in point: the watered-down reopening guidelines the White House finally allowed the CDC to publish last night.

"This was an effort on our part to make some decision trees we thought might be helpful to those moving forward with opening their establishment," a "spokesperson" told the Washington Post.

Politico spoke directly to the agency itself: "The CDC said its newly released tools are meant to give state and local areas control over their reopening strategies."

And the New York Times reports, "A C.D.C. spokesman said that further decision charts may be issued, and that the ones that had been published had emphasized the need for employers to work closely with local health officials."

The CDC has a whole list of spokespeople with particular subject matter expertise. But not one of them wanted to put their name on this piece of crap official document. Which is kind of a "tell."

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