2022 midterms

Great Republican Idea: What If 2000 Rural CO Voters Got Twice As Many 'Votes' As 761,000 People In Denver?

The Electoral College so nice, they want to do it twice.

The state of Colorado has a problem, at least if you're a Republican seeking high office: In the past 50 years, the state has only elected one Republican as governor (Bill Owens, who served from 1999 to 2007). But one of the GOP candidates for governor this year, Greg Lopez, has a great idea that he thinks could fix that little difficulty, mostly by putting in place a kind of state electoral college, in which rural counties' voters would have far more power than voters in cities. Forget "one person, one vote," because it's far fairer if you don't count all votes equally.

Don't stare at us like that. It's not our idea, it's Lopez's.

You might also be unsurprised to know that Lopez, the former mayor of Parker, Colorado, thinks Donald Trump really won the 2020 election but had it stolen from him. Just because Democrats far outnumber Republicans statewide shouldn't mean they really represent Coloradans.

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Congress

Madison Cawthorn Gonna Have To Horseplay Cousin In Private Sector, We Guess

That next GOP coke boner orgy is going to be hella awkward. Allegedly.

Last night GOP Rep. Madison Cawthorn did the first and only decent thing he's ever done in his short, feckless life. Shortly after 10 p.m., he called up GOP state Sen. Chuck Edwards, and conceded the primary.

"Congratulations to @ChuckEdwards4NC on securing the nomination tonight," he tweeted shortly after. "It’s time for the NC-11 GOP to rally behind the Republican ticket to defeat the Democrats’ nominee this November."

Thus ends the brief, embarrassing political career of the youngest member of Congress in five decades, who found out the hard way that pissing off the Republican establishment in your home state and embarrassing the shit out of your colleagues in DC can be bad for your political health. Because there's absolutely no question who shivved the 26-year-old man child — and it sure as hell wasn't the Blue Team.

The GOP might have been annoyed when Congressman Boy Band called Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy a "thug," but they were livid when he started blabbing about Republican electeds throwing coke boner orgies.

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State/Local Politics

Trump Picks Big Lie Buddy Doug Mastriano For Pennsylvania Governor

Trump continues primary endorsement streak of selecting absolute worst of the bunch.

It’s primary election day in Pennsylvania, so let’s talk a little about the GOP primary for governor. Incumbent Democratic Gov. Tom Wolf won re-election in 2018 by 17 points, but he’s limited to just two terms and can’t run again. Republicans are hot to seize the governorship in a tough year for Democrats. Leading the pack is state Sen. Doug Mastriano, who Donald Trump recently endorsed at the last minute. Mother Jones speculates that this was so Trump could claim credit for Mastriano’s sure thing.

In the governor’s race, Mastriano built up a roughly 10-point lead over his rivals before securing Trump’s support. He was central to Trump’s efforts in Pennsylvania to overturn the 2020 election. He also organized bus trips to Washington, DC, for the January 6 “Stop the Steal” rally and was outside the Capitol that day—though there is no evidence he entered the building and he has not been accused of breaking any laws.

That’s what passes for integrity in the modern Republican Party, that there’s no conclusive proof that their its nominee for governor of a major swing state participated in a violent coup attempt. He just tried to overturn the results of a free and fair election, but peacefully.

Mastriano is a nightmare candidate with reported ties to the QAnon cult, and has fully embraced Trump’s Big Lie about the 2020 election he lost like a loser. Mastriano is now polling 12 points ahead of former congressman Lou Barletta, who along with Tom Marino was among the first GOP House members to endorse Trump in 2016. However, Trump now raves that Mastriano "has been with me right from the beginning, and now I have an obligation to be with him.”

Trump stabs people in the back so often he should sell Trump-brand daggers, but nonetheless Marino expressed his disappointment this weekend over the Mastriano endorsement.


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Congress

Madison Cawthorn Discovers Fragging Fellow Republicans Can Be Bad For Your Political Health

Actions. Consequences.

Before entering politics, Madison Cawthorn managed a Chick-fil-A and worked as a staff assistant the district office of his predecessor Mark Meadows. While Your Wonkette would never denigrate honest work, there's nothing in this guy's resume that would indicate that he was prepared to be an actual factual congressman in the US House of Representatives. Indeed Meadows, who presumably had some idea of Cawthorn's abilities, went balls to the wall in a failed effort to make sure he didn't have to hand his seat off to the then-24-year-old.

And just this once, we will have to agree with Mark Meadows. The past two years have shown exactly why Trump's chief of staff wanted a replacement-level, middle-aged white lady who would toe the party line instead of a shitposting toddler who alternates between run-ins with the police and attacking his fellow Republicans. Which is why the members of his own caucus are unsubtly trying to shiv Cawthorn before next week's primary, in hopes that his constituents will abort this non-viable congressman and spare them the pain of having to carry him another term.

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