State/Local Politics

Albuquerque Mayor's Race Roiled By DONGCOPTER

One Of Our Dildocraft Is Missing.

The big political news in New Mexico this week was Tuesday's landslide-isn't-adequate-to-describe-it win by Democratic state Rep. Melanie Stansbury in the special election to fill Interior Secretary Deb Haaland's congressional seat. But while the 60 percent to 36 percent stomping Stansbury delivered to Republican state Sen. Mark Moores will have important long-term implications for New Mexico politics, it was a plain vanilla "plane lands safely" story compared to Tuesday's other, far weirder political news in the Land of Enchantment.

That story, being, of course, the attack of the DONGCOPTER at a rally for Albuquerque mayoral candidate Manuel "Manny" Gonzales III, who currently serves as Bernalillo County Sheriff. As the Albuquerque Journal notes, the rally had started out well enough, with one of the biggest crowds Gonzales has had yet in his campaign to oust "fellow Democrat and incumbent Mayor Tim Keller." (The mayor's race is officially nonpartisan, so party affiliation won't be listed on the ballot. They are indeed Dems, although Gonzales is apparently some kind of law-n-order Trumper. Damned if any of it makes sense.)

Things got weird, in the form of a new kind of SKYPENIS, only this one at a far lower altitude than the others. While Gonzales was answering a question, a quadcopter drone dangling a dildo beneath it flew into the open-air venue, buzzing near the stage. As the audience giggled, an incredulous woman in the audience exclaimed, "Is that a dong on a drone?"

Here's a link to the video, which sadly cannot be embedded. Gonzales, clearly distracted — and who wouldn't be? — commented, "We have a gentleman over here who I guess is trying to be cute."

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Right Wing Extremism

Freakshow Idaho Lt. Gov. Lady Bans Mask Mandates While Real Gov Out Of State, And He's *Piiiiissed*

Why yes, she IS running against him in the R primary.

Last week, Idaho's wackaloon Lieutenant Governor Janice McGeachin, who likes to hang out with anti-government militias and pretends she's some sort of freedom fighter by opposing public health measures, decided that while Gov. Brad Little was out of the state, she'd just fuck around and find out if she could bring LIBERTY to Idaho.

Little had gone to a Republican Governors Association conference in Nashville, and Idaho's state constitution says that when the governor leaves the state, they are no longer governor. So last Thursday, McGeachin issued a batshit crazy executive order prohibiting all state "political subdivisions" (other than nursing homes and hospitals) from mandating face masks.

As the Idaho Capital Sun 'splained, the order applied to all Idaho "public schools, counties, cities and public health districts. It also extends to state boards, commissions, departments and divisions." McGeachin said she hadn't checked with schools or informed them of the order before issuing it.

The first that Gov. Little heard of the order was right after he'd spoken at the RGA meeting, when he got a call from Secretary of State Lawrence Denney, the Capital Sun reported yesterday.

"He says, "Brad, I've got an executive order here,'" Little said in a lengthy interview [...] in his office Tuesday morning.

"That's when I first found out about it."

Little returned to Boise last Thursday night, and on Friday morning issued a new executive order undoing McGeachin's craziness. As of yesterday afternoon, the governor and the lieutenant governor hadn't spoken. In Idaho, the two officers are elected separately; they don't run together on a party ticket. It being Idaho, you're gonna have Republicans in both slots anyway. Idaho does have a two-party system, however: There are conservative Republicans like Little, and then there are bonkers whackjob far-Right Republicans like McGeachin.

This latest madness makes us wonder whether someday, the madness in the Idaho Republican Party will get so bad that voters turn away from the Rs. If they do, they'd still probably elect a Whig before a Democrat.

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Ohio Being Terrible About Abortion Again

This is your surprised face!

Over the past month, Texas has really been bringing it with the terrible and nonsensical anti-abortion laws. Mississippi hasn't slacked off either, and is getting its 15-week abortion ban dreams reviewed by the Supreme Court. But we haven't heard from good old Ohio since April when the Sixth Circuit gave the state permission to prosecute doctors for performing abortions if patients say they are having them because the fetus they are carrying has Down syndrome.

The dry spell is over and we are beginning with two separate bad Ohio abortion bills. Oh joy.

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In Huntington Beach, The Unsurprising Fall Of A Meathead COVID-Denying Not-Mayor

Who knew that Mixed Martial Arts might not prepare a bro for local office?

After just six months in office, Tito Ortiz, a former UFC fighter inducted into that sport's hall of fame, resigned Tuesday night as mayor pro tem (essentially a vice mayor) of Huntington Beach, California. After being elected on an anti-mask platform, calling the COVID-19 crisis a "plandemic" at his swearing-in, spreading Donald Trump's big election lie, and then crying a whole bunch about being victimized by cruel partisans, Ortiz will now serve as a warning to children that being on TV in a made-up sport (calm down, all sports are made up) doesn't mean you're fit to hold a position of public trust.

We had never heard of Mr. Ortiz prior to being assigned this story, and we'd just like to take this opportunity to thank Our Editrix for the chance to learn about a lunkhead whose idiotic behavior deserves to be made fun of and quickly forgotten, at least until he ends up hijacking an ice cream truck and crashing it through the doors of a federal building, leaving several bureaucrats overcome by sprinkles.

In his resignation speech at last night's City Council meeting, Ortiz insisted that he had been the victim of "character assassination" by the media, which very unfairly reported things he'd said and done. He said that the last straw was that his children were being "attacked," by which he presumably meant accurate reporting on his sons being sent home from school for not wearing masks, and bringing a bogus document claiming they were exempt from mask requirements based on "religious freedom." (We'll just note that the Orange County Register, at least, didn't include the boys' names, ages, or the name of the middle school they attend, only the district.)

Here's Ortiz in his operatic debut as Pagliacci:

"To put it simply," Ortiz said, "this job isn't working for me." It's unclear whether the lone person applauding as he stood to leave was a fan, or just glad to see him go.

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