Donate

State of the Union Address Drinking Game

We love drinking games. They are a truly American past-time, combining both the competitive spirit and a gleeful descent into sloppy self-absorption. We also like not working, so we salute the creators of the State of the Union Drinking Game, who have done as little as possible to make the game current to this year. Way to go, guys! (More time for drinking, are we right?) Still, we’re a tad doubtful that simply adding some reference to Mars will get you sufficiently sloshed to appreciate W.’s fine oratory. So, some edits and additions. For instance, rather than


IF: They show a former member of the Bush Administration (i.e. Paul O’Neill, etc.)

THEN: Take three drinks

We think it should go:

IF: They show Paul O’Neill

THEN: Take three drinks

IF: Paul O’Neill’s head is still attached to his body

THEN: Finish the bottle

IF: Bush mentions "changing the tone in Washington"

THEN: Take one drink

IF: Bush mentions "changing to tone in Washington" and the camera pans to Mitch McConnell giving Russ Feingold a noogie

THEN: Take two drinks

IF: Bush rides a Segway onto the house floor

THEN: Take three drinks

IF: Bush successfully rides a segway onto the house floor

THEN: Do a shot

IF: Bush asserts the existence of a democratic, free-market Iraq,

THEN: Invest more in Halliburton

IF: Bush vows to pass a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage

THEN: Tell your fraternity pledges that they can take the butt plugs out of their asses now

$
Donate with CC
It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc