State of the Union Address Drinking Game
We love drinking games. They are a truly American past-time, combining both the competitive spirit and a gleeful descent into sloppy self-absorption. We also like not working, so we salute the creators of the State of the Union Drinking Game, who have done as little as possible to make the game current to this year. Way to go, guys! (More time for drinking, are we right?) Still, we’re a tad doubtful that simply adding some reference to Mars will get you sufficiently sloshed to appreciate W.’s fine oratory. So, some edits and additions. For instance, rather than
IF: They show a former member of the Bush Administration (i.e. Paul O’Neill, etc.)
THEN: Take three drinks
We think it should go:
IF: They show Paul O’Neill
THEN: Take three drinks
IF: Paul O’Neill’s head is still attached to his body
THEN: Finish the bottle
IF: Bush mentions "changing the tone in Washington"
THEN: Take one drink
IF: Bush mentions "changing to tone in Washington" and the camera pans to Mitch McConnell giving Russ Feingold a noogie
THEN: Take two drinks
IF: Bush rides a Segway onto the house floor
THEN: Take three drinks
IF: Bush successfully rides a segway onto the house floor
THEN: Do a shot
IF: Bush asserts the existence of a democratic, free-market Iraq,
THEN: Invest more in Halliburton
IF: Bush vows to pass a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage
THEN: Tell your fraternity pledges that they can take the butt plugs out of their asses now
The State of the Union Address Drinking Game 2004 [DrinkingGame.us via Swamp City ]