Statler Endorses Waldorf

Hey, everyone! Are you in the mood to shut up and not fight in the comments? Thanks, that's great! We are in the mood for that too and encourage you to #BeBest, by not fighting in the comments!

Joe Biden did a video time today and said he would have a "special guest" joining him. The "special guest" was Bernie Sanders! Bernie Sanders was there to endorse him! Bernie Sanders is a grown-up man who knows what's at stake in November, especially now that it turns out that if the president is the stupidest buffoon in all of America, and a pandemic hits, tens of thousands of Americans die! So he endorsed Joe Biden right now today with his mouth!

They said many nice things to each other, and toward the end, they threatened to keep the livestream going for 500 more minutes, so they could play a nice game of Old Balls Chess against each other, because of how they are Old Balls, and they like playing chess.

Don't you want to watch Old Balls Joe 'n' Bernie play chess for 500 minutes, with their old balls? Well, you can't, because they didn't do that in this video:

Joe Biden also announced that he's putting together a bunch of nice working committees with Sanders, to work on creating policy together. Doesn't that sound nice and kumbaya and shit, and like something you'd feel pretty silly to fight in the comments about?

Wonkette would like to take a moment to address all the aspects of this news that people are fighting about on Twitter right now, whatever they may be:

stephen colbert middle finger GIFGiphy

That was a good and productive moment.

Wonkette sends thoughts and prayers to anybody who is bothered or upset by this completely expected development, and by thoughts and prayers, we mean go cry somewhere into a dirty My Pillow, but don't do it here.

All who enjoy good things like puppies and cheesecake and not fighting in the comments are invited to stay.

Onward to November!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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