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Just look at overgrown leather briefcase John Boehner making a shameful display of his mathematical prowess during a Fox News interview like he doesn't even know that the viewers at home are going red and puffy in the face trying to follow along with a simple calculation of odds: “I would say that there is a two-in-three chance that we [the Republicans] win control of the House again but there’s a 1-in-3 chance that we could lose." Good job, professor! But ...wait, no, hang on, Steny Hoyer must needs make note of some errors in the department head's equations here, since this is his salaried job, to check John Boehner's math.


Oh yes, it seems that John Boehner forgot to carry the infinity give or take in his calculation of how much the Republican House members suck. Correct him in a nasal voice, Steny:

"I think there's a higher chance than one-in-three," Hoyer said during his weekly press briefing in the Capitol. "At best, from his perspective, it's 50-50."

That is one route of critique. Debbie Wasserman Schultz has another, as a contribution to this academic debate, which is merely to ridicule John Boehner for publicly admitting to doing math, like a weakling.

"How rare is it for a Speaker to suggest — I can tell you that [former Speaker] Nancy Pelosi [(D-Calif.)] would never have suggested there was a possibility we would lose," Wasserman Schultz said.

Shut up, all of you.

Is anyone in Congress doing any actual work whatsoever? Oh look, the Senate Commerce Committee held a hearing today. What was that about?

"Year-in, year-out consumers face rate increases for pay TV that are rising faster than inflation," said Rockefeller at a hearing on how online video platforms are affecting the price of television. "We are paying for so many channels, though we only watch a few."

Oh good. Nice to see Homer Simpson's petitions to Congress finally got through. [The Hill]

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Hillary Clinton spoke Monday at the Elly Awards in New York, and she had something to say about Donald Trump's vicious plan to see how many Hispanic Mexican babies he can hurt before Democrats cry uncle and fund his fucking wall. Here is some transcript and a video, lovingly provided by Daily Kos, and after that we have thoughts:

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In a normal news world, this would be huge news: Thanks to the Trump administration's hiring freeze, federal prisons are becoming chronically understaffed. It's saving the government a bit of money, so we can afford some big fats tax cuts for rich fuckwads, but there just might be a small downside, as a New York Times investigation found. Turns out that with correctional officers in short supply, federal prisons are burning out the staff they have, and often relying on staff like clerks, teachers, and medical staff to fill in for correctional officers on the units. It's all fun and games until someone gets mauled, huh?

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