Stephen Colbert Pledges To Do More Nothing About Climate Change Than Anyone Else (Video)

News

Doktor Zoom

May 15, 2014 09:45 AM

Our new national motto Stephen Colbert has The Word on the White House's recently released climate report, an assessment that has him "so terrified that it left a carbon footprint in my pants." Climate change is real, it's here now, and it's bad ("I have always believed that I have always said that"). So what's to be done about it?

What The F*ck Was That?

Dipshit was mad, so Dipshit went to the Rose Garden to whine at America. This is our president.

Russia

Well, lordy Jesus, that was 10 minutes of our life we're never going to get back.

A few minutes ago, all the reporters on Twitter started saying, "Um, we are getting called to the Rose Garden and we don't know why." Democrats were supposed to be meeting with Trump about Infrastructure Week, but instead, this was happening:

Hooray! There was a sign in the Rose Garden! It said how big the Mueller Investigation was! And most importantly the Mueller Investigation said NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION, PREZNIT TRUMP GOOD, NOT A RUSSIAN.

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miami absentee ballots alex díaz de la portilla miami-dade county commission special election whatsapp zoraida barreiro election fraud leaks ballot destruction florida florida division of elections stalking accusation eileen higgins

Florida Republican's Campaign Crew Sure Liked Chatting About Election Fraud

Tell us again why voting restrictions protect the 'integrity' of the vote?

Elections

Alex Díaz de la Portilla on Facebook

Alex Díaz de la Portilla, former Florida Republican state senator, is in hot water over a leaked WhatsApp chat log that appears to show campaign workers chatting about destroying or disappearing absentee ballots filled out for the candidate's opponent in the nonpartisan county election, according to the Miami New Times. Díaz de la Portilla ultimately came in third in the May 2018 special election for a seat on the Miami-Dade County Commission, so even if some of his people did deep-six some ballots, it didn't apparently help him. Clearly, these pikers could have learned a lot from the experts in North Carolina about electoral fuckery.

Still, you have to appreciate just how brilliantly Díaz de la Portilla plays the role of a local pol accused of just a teensy bit of ratfucking.

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