Stephen Miller And Pence Spox Katie Waldman To Wed, Jail Children Together
Stephen Miller, Donald Trump's undead vampire immigration Gauleiter, is apparently engaged to marry Katie Waldman, who in September became Mike Pence's press secretary after two years talking up the administration's brilliant work on immigration as a press flack at the Department of Homeland Security. Waldman posted the news on her private Instagram over the weekend, after which it was reposted to the Twitters by former Obama DHS and Defense official Todd Bresseale:
We dunno, all the Instagram pic says is "Yes!" (and again, Yes), so perhaps that's not an engagement announcement so much as the answer to "Did your boyfriend finally confirm he eats the souls of newborns?" or "If his face looks like that at 34 years of age, does he have a portrait that's getting younger and more handsome over time?"
The relationship between Ms. Waldman and Miller first came to light when she took the Pence job in September, when Washington Post reporter Nick Miroff confronted the world with the horrifying mental image of Miller engaging in likely coitus with a real human being, ever.
As Yr Wonkette noted at the time, Waldman appears, based on her Twitter, to enjoy border-enforcement/flower-arrangement cosplay:
NBC News reported Waldman
is an aggressive and sometimes polarizing communicator but has proven to be a loyal advocate for the Trump administration and its policies.
During her nearly two-year stint at DHS, she was given the agency's immigration portfolio and empowered to be the lead spokesperson. She consistently defended the administration's policy of "zero tolerance" that led to the separation of thousands of children from their parents after crossing the southern border.
So you can certainly see what the two have in common; we can imagine the lovebirds cuddling on the couch, combing through page after page of federal statute to find possible loopholes that might be exploited to keep foreigners out of US America.
Twitter offered its congratulations to the happy couple. Along with the understandable fears that the two might bring forth children unto the world, there were more creative efforts like this, from Wonkette alum Gary Legum:
I kid, I kid. I wish them years of happiness and devoutly hope that if they want kids they will be able to keep the… https://t.co/tb8se2loT9— Gary Legum (@Gary Legum)1572822674.0
And rightwing media responded with the mandatory tsking over Civility In This Day And Age:
Based on the URL and some aggregation sites, looks like the original hed of that Daily Mail story was "Social media SLAMS announcement of Stephen Miller's engagement to Mike Pence's press secretary." Not sure why they changed it -- the detail that there wasn't actually a formal announcement, or simply not enough evisceration.
In any case, perhaps it won't be long before the happy couple hears little feet goose-stepping around the house, or perhaps a seriously disappointed Ms. Waldman may in a few years write one harrowing tell-all memoir of horror and survival. But who knows, maybe they truly love and appreciate each other, in which case we imagine in another decade the tabloids will bring us tales of their last-minute escape to exile in Paraguay.
Yr Wonkette is supported solely by reader donations. Please send us money so we can keep the servers humming, the writers paid, and Dok's cat purring, the little dipshit.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.