Steve Bannon Is Your President Now, Isn't That Marvelous?! Wonkagenda For Mon., Jan. 30, 2017
Morning Wonketariat! Not America is super pissed at the U.S. right now, and they have every right to be. However, just as the majority of Muslims aren't terrorists, we've got to remind the rest of the world that not all of Americans are rage-filled, war mongering idiots.
- A mosque in Quebec City was attacked by gunmen, killing six, wounding eight, and is being called a terrorist attack. There's no joke here, this is sad and enraging.
- Trump is pulling back a teensy little part of his Muslim ban. PAPERS, PLEASE!
- Taking a page out of the playbook from their former
oil overlordsfreedom colonizers in the GOP, the Iraqi parliament approved a ban on U.S. citizens from entering Iraq in response to Trump's Muslim ban, and diplomats are righteously pissed that Trump somehow just screwed up 15 years of nation building in single weekend.
- Exempt countries (which "coincidentally" have Trump properties) aren't saying much as they softly whistle and avoid making eye contact.
- Counter-terrorism and defense officials are worried about Trump's foreign policy strategy (or lack thereof) against religious extremism since the U.S. doesn't make raining down fire, brimstone, and hate speech a state policy.
- Sith Lord Steve Bannon has been given a seat on the National Security Council while the Joint Chiefs of Staff have been diminished as Trump consolidates power around racist, anti-Semitic lizard people, and some people in the GOP are pissed.
- U.S. embassies are telling dual citizens and nationals not to bother applying for a visa if you're from one of the seven countries affected by Trump's Muslim banhammer.
- The first rulings for or against the Muslim ban are only the start of what's likely to be a long, drawn out legal process that will waste tax dollars and bleed civil rights organizations.
- The White House is wondering how it can force you to be its Facebook friend so it can keep an eye on your status updates and call you the next time you say mean things about Donald Trump.
- Tech companies are pissed at Trump's Muslim ban because many of their workers will be screwed, and they're dumping millions of Ameros to help immigrants in an effort to dull the pain. Meanwhile, fabulous and fancy movie people denounced Trump at the SAG Awards last night.
may announce his SCOTUS pick todaywill announce his SCOTUS pick tomorrow in an effort to distract people and reporters by flooding news cycles with an endless series of political theater antics.
- On Friday, Nikki Haley warned the U.N. that the U.S. expects complete and total loyalty to Donald Trump, and that she's "taking names" of those countries who oppose Earth's new orange-hued overseer.
- Kellyanne Conway lost her shit on teevee yesterday morning, comparing Trump to Jesus and saying that fact-checking reporters need to be fired for not reporting her alt-reality.
- Breitbart's new editor says Breitbart's not racist, and used the Pee-Wee Herman Defense to prove his point.
- After protesters converged on Philly's 30th Street train station, Republicans had to craft an alternate escape route, causing Amtrak to run a literal ghost train devoid of customers after their retreat this weekend.
- Theresa May grabbed Donald Trump by the dick on Friday, and forced Trump to admit that he is "100% behind NATO," live on INTERNATIONAL teevee. LOL!
- Prince Charles has been warned that Donald Trump doesn't like lectures on climate change ahead of a state visit to the U.K. and he "won't put up with being lectured by anyone," even the heir-apparent to the U.S.'s closest ally.
In unrelated news, Donald Trump once bragged that he could have "nailed" Princess Diana but she wasn't a 10.
- Here's some bonus Nice Time, it's the scene greeting arrivals from foreign countries at O'Hare International Airport in Chicago from Saturday.
Signs now greeting arrivals from foreign destinations at O'Hare. pic.twitter.com/2FbhImHBc5
— Stacy St. Clair (@StacyStClair) January 29, 2017
- Here's your morning Nice Time: KITTENS! They're learning to eat! NOM NOM NOM!