Stewardess Unravels Awful Gov't Terror Conspiracy

riddle, enigma, conspiracy, etc. - WonketteA brave stewardess has been trying to expose a terrible terrorist jet-toilet conspiracy, but airline pilots, TSA air marshals and federal law enforcement agents just laugh at her crusade.

It all started when she was tidying up the bathroom in the coach section of a 757 flying across the country in February 2005 -- and if you believe a stewardess would actually clean up the filthy coach lavatory en route, you'll likely believe the rest of this weirdo story. All is revealed, after the jump.

There is only one source for this tale -- a dubious weblog -- and that's good enough for Wonkette!

"Charlotte Smith" was working the New Jersey-California flight when she decided to start opening all the little compartments in the lavatory, the way people on cocaine will sometimes just start opening everything because they can't remember where the rest of the cocaine is hidden. On the reverse side of the thing that holds the paper towels, "Charlotte" found a graffito that read:

Because she was working in coach and that means just ignoring all the passengers for five hours, "Charlotte" decided to open each and every panel and compartment in the little bathroom. Sure enough, she found another troubling graffito: CHENAULT IS KING.

She trotted up the plane and bothered the captain with her discovery. He told her to calm down and that he'd make sure the cleaning crew took care of it -- because a captain's main job is relaying orders from stewardesses to the ground cleaning crew.

Instead, she filed a report with the unidentified airline's Flight Safety Reporting System. Somehow, America wasn't conquered by the Islamo-Fascists over the next 14 months. But then, in April of last year, she found moreevidence of CHENAULT behind the bathroom compartment doors ... on the same 757!

Once again, she ran to the cockpit and breathlessly told the captain, who told her to settle down. She didn't; "Charlotte" took cell-phone pictures of the graffiti and sent the evidence to her airline and even the airline's union. Nobody responded.

This kept happening, and she went crazier and crazier. Finally, she couldn't even work on the tagged planes. Even federal air marshals heard her story and looked at her pictures and said the graffiti was "odd" but otherwise harmless.

But she convinced another stewardess to start looking for CHENAULT in the 757 lavatories, and sure enough "Jane Green" came across the tags. What does it means???

The normal-world guess would go something like this: There are guys named (or nicknamed) Chenault and Zatu (also the name of a Latino rapper, avant-garde band and Phoenix record label) at this airline's maintenance facility where the 757s are serviced. They're playing some kind of game by tagging the innards of the big planes. Flight crews likely encounter this kind of stuff all the time, which is why the captains and the air marshals brush it off and nobody in management responds to reports of this nature.

Problem is that the "normal world" has been gone for a long time, if it ever existed.

The people behind this website decided they would just start cold googling. And what did they find? Search for Chenault is King and the top hit is the story of a crazy guy named Marcus Wayne Chenault -- who murdered MLK's mother in June of 1974, as she played the organ at Ebenezer Baptist Church.

He had reportedly been dropped off at the church by people he knew in Ohio. While at Ohio State University, he was part of a group known as "the Troop," run by a Black minister and gun collector who used the name Rabbi Emmanuel Israel. This man, described in the press as a "mentor" for Chenault, left the area immediately after the shooting. In the same period, Rabbi Hill traveled from Ohio to Guyana and set up Hilltown, using similar aliases, and preaching the same message of a "black Hebrew elite." Chenault confided to SCLC leaders that he was one of many killers who were working to assassinate a long list of Black leadership. The names he said were on this list coincided with similar "death lists" distributed by the KKK, and linked to the COINTELPRO operations in the 60s.
Sure, get the KKK and COINTELPRO and Jim Jones in there .... And don't forget that California cops were told by higher-ups to lay off the Manson Family up at Spahn Ranch. Why? Nobody knows for sure, but the cops themselves assumed it was because the racist Manson was going to be allowed to murder Black Panthers in Oakland. (Instead, his "hippie" followers went on a local killing spree in LA's Benedict Canyon and Los Feliz, and the anti-war pro-drug anti-Nixon era was finished, instantly and forever.)

Chenault was yet another mysterious "lone nut" assassin. After he killed Mrs. King and a deacon at the Atlanta church, he just stood there, dazed and grinning, politely asking if he'd shot anyone. He was quickly convicted and died in prison after a stroke, at the ripe old age of 44.

Well, it's actually 'De Cheneau,' but whatever .... - WonketteThe website's writers follow a few more roads, but none this weird. But the Chenault coat of arms from France (!) does have a little deal on it that looks ever so slightly like part of a Muslim star & crescent!

We don't know the answers to this puzzle, but we're pretty sure that any real investigation would start with American Express CEO Kenneth Chenault ... or the 11th Kentucky Cavalry of the Confederacy ("Chenault's Cavalry") ... or home-based business guru Tom Chenault ... or Dawn Stone Chenault of Mechanicsville, Virginia ....

American Graffiti or Al Qaeda Threat? [Aviation Nation]


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