Stocks Collapse Everywhere In Reaction To World's Ending

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If you've been avoiding the Business News because maybe you don't want to know how badly your 401k just got radiation-sodomized, let's just bring you out of the fog and into the harsh light:


Marketwatch reports:

US stocks plunged deep into the red Tuesday, joining a global market sell-off that started in Tokyo as Japan’s nuclear crisis deepened and worries escalated over the human and economic toll of last week’s devastating earthquake. The Dow Jones Industrial Average sank 209 points, or 1.7%, to 11,787, while the Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index dropped 21 points, or 1.6%, to 1,276. The Nasdaq Composite slid 45 points, or 1.67%, to 2,656.

The sharp selloff came after news of two more explosions at Japan’s Fukushima Daiichi nuclear-power plant, releasing large amounts of nuclear material directly into the atmosphere. Prime Minister Naoto Kan warned of “substantial” radiation leaks. Tokyo also suffered an aftershock in the late evening, according to Dow Jones Newswires.

Even bullshit gold is dropping like a glowing, unstoppable fuel rod. Down $31 in a day? Jesus, go Glenn Beck!

What else? Oh, who knows. Just terrible, from every angle. But we bet President Obama is "monitoring the situation," ha ha. [Marketwatch]

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