MyPillow Guy Gonna Be Governor Of Minnesota Just As Soon As Trump Is Re-Elected

Donald Trump lost the 2020 election.

Mike Lindell has been very busy lately. He's been out there trying to sell oleander, a well known poison, as a cure for COVID-19. He's been bailing out teen murderers and trying to convince the world Donald Trump actually won the election. Plus, as far as we know, he still sells pillows.

But he has ambitions far beyond being a simple pillow/poison salesman and good buddy of Donald Trump. He wants to smother the whole state of Minnesota in his pillows. Or be governor of it. One of the two.

Lindell has been publicly mulling over a gubernatorial run for quite some time, and last week, he told the Star-Tribune that there is a 90 to 95 percent chance he will throw his name in the hat for 2022.

Lindell told the Star Tribune last week that he is "90 to 95%" likely to run for governor next year, offering Minnesota Republicans the biggest test of Trump's ongoing traction. The honorary chairman of Trump's campaign in Minnesota, Lindell remains among the highest-profile figures still pursuing legal efforts to overturn the 2020 presidential election amid evidence-free claims of voter fraud.

But there is a catch! Lindell told reporters back in October that he will only run for Governor if Donald Trump is re-elected, and it appears he is sticking to that vow and says he will not announce his official plans until that happens. Although now that the election is over, it's a little more awkward.

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2020 presidential election

A Very Desperate Trump Reportedly Considering Hiring The Kraken, Releasing The Military

No one else seems to think these are good ideas!

Once upon a time (in 1999), following the success of the movie Titanic, some weirdos in Italy decided to make their own version of the movie. For children. A cartoon featuring many singing mice called The Legend of the Titanic. In this version, the Titanic doesn't sink and no one drowns, because it is saved by a baby giant squid/octopus/kraken named Tentacolino.

Legend of the Titanic (English) Full Movie youtu.be

There is also a sequel, where the main characters from this movie go to Atlantis, but that is not relevant at this time (although this singing/rapping sharks song is a jam). I also just found out that there is a television series featuring them, and now today is the actual greatest day of my life.

Why am I bringing this up? Because it one of the greatest films ever made, obviously. But also because it is a very apt metaphor for what Donald Trump is trying to accomplish here. According to a report from The New York Times, Trump is considering naming "Kraken" lawyer Sidney Powell as special counsel on the election fraud that did not happen.

Via The New York Times:

President Trump on Friday discussed making Sidney Powell, who as a lawyer for his campaign team unleashed a series of conspiracy theories about a Venezuelan plot to rig voting machines in the United States, a special counsel investigating voter fraud, according to two people briefed on the discussion.

It was unclear if Mr. Trump will move ahead with such a plan.

Most of his advisers opposed the idea, two of the people briefed on the discussion said, including Rudolph W. Giuliani, the president's personal lawyer, who in recent days sought to have the Department of Homeland Security join the campaign's efforts to overturn Mr. Trump's loss in the election.

Mr. Giuliani joined the discussion by phone, while Ms. Powell was at the White House for a meeting that became raucous at times, according to one of the people briefed on what took place. Other administration officials drifted in and out of the meeting, two of the people briefed said, and the White House counsel, Pat A. Cipollone, pushed back on the ideas being proposed.

Ms. Powell accused other Trump advisers of being quitters, according to the people briefed.

Reportedly, no one except for Sidney Powell thought this was a particularly good idea. Personally, I think it is a fantastic idea, but only because it would be extremely funny.

Also discussed at the meeting, according to the Times' sources, was the idea of seizing the voting machines in hopes that they could use them to prove that the election was rigged, like on Scandal.

Part of the White House meeting on Friday night was a discussion about an executive order to take control of voting machines to examine them, according to one of the people briefed.

Mr. Giuliani has separately pressed the Department of Homeland Security to seize possession of voting machines as part of a push to overturn the results of the election, three people familiar with the discussion said. Mr. Giuliani was told the department does not have the authority to do such a thing.

Another thing that was considered at this meeting was General Michael Flynn's idea of using the military to stop Biden from taking office, which did not go over well either.

It also seemed as though Trump was not 100 percent certain what a "special counsel" did or was for, so much as he just kinda wanted to let Powell in, give her all the clearance and let her do whatever she thinks it takes to keep him in the white house.

In real life, the Titanic was not saved by a giant baby kraken, and, in real life, Trump won't be either. Though it is somewhat entertaining to see him try, so long as no actual harm comes of it.

This is now your open thread! Enjoy!

[New York Times]

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2020 presidential election

Harvard Law Grad Kayleigh McEnany, Would You Like To Spout Some Absolute Horse Sh*t About 'Law'?

That's some balls on her!

I think they finally did it. I think they broke my brain.

Thanks to Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Four Seasons Total Landscaping, and Sidney Powell's crackhead "kraken" suits, we might actually be living through the dumbest coup attempt ever.

But when White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany made a guest appearance on Sean Hannity's Fox News show, it only got dumber from there.

In the midst of a rant about how Trump would have won if only we hadn't gone to the trouble of having an election, the Harvard Law graduate decided that laws and constitutional doctrines were actually just "gimmickry tricks" designed to steal the 2020 election right from the tiny hands of Donald Trump.

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Conspiracy Theories

Trump And The MAGA Crowd Go Off The Deep End After SCOTUS Refuses To Undo The Election

And yet they're still holding on to hope.

On Friday, a heavily conservative Supreme Court that currently includes three justices personally appointed by Donald Trump, rejected a lawsuit from the state of Texas asking for the court to throw out the results of four battleground states that, very rudely, did not vote for Donald Trump — even though he really wanted them to. In an unsigned order, the court said that Texas "has not demonstrated a judicially cognizable interest in the manner in which another state conducts its elections."

Justices Alito and Thomas, unsurprisingly, made it known that if it were up to them, they would have granted the motion to file the bill of complaint, but would not have done anything else:

The State of Texas's motion for leave to file a bill of complaint is denied for lack of standing under Article III of the Constitution. Texas has not demonstrated a judicially cognizable interest in the manner in which another State conducts its elections. All other pending motions are dismissed as moot.

Statement of Justice Alito, with whom Justice Thomas joins: In my view, we do not have discretion to deny the filing of a bill of complaint in a case that falls within our original jurisdiction. See Arizona v. California, 589 U. S. ___ (Feb. 24, 2020) (Thomas, J., dissenting). I would therefore grant the motion to file the bill of complaint but would not grant other relief, and I express no view on any other issue.


As you might imagine, Trump is handling this latest disappointment incredibly well.

It appears that perhaps he is now turning to the Proud Boys — whom he previously told to "stand back and stand by" — for ... something, I guess. I don't know. Maybe a hug? He invited Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio to the White House for some reason.

The Proud Boys, along with many other idiots, are currently protesting in DC in a "March for Trump," in hopes of getting the Supreme Court to change their mind or for something else to happen that will allow them to enjoy 4 more years of Trump tweets. You may recall that the last time the Proud Boys were there, they stabbed three people. So this should be pleasant for all involved.

And Alex Jones is there, to boot. Being protected by the Proud Boys because apparently he is too weak to take on any potential attackers himself. Guess those magic beans he sells don't work so well after all!

The MyPillow guy was there, calling us "little mini piranhas" trying to take their rights away one bite at a time and yelling about Jesus.

Over on Parler, Milo Yiannopoulos wailed into the night, calling for secession and talking about how he "lost everything helping to put Trump in office" and now feels "utterly betrayed."

Milo isn't the only one on Parler talking about a civil war, either.

And even on Twitter "Marshall Law" was trending.

Marshall's Law, I believe, is where you spend three hours staring at things in Marshall's, try super hard to like a weird dress from Free People that doesn't look great but also it's like 70 percent off so maybe you could make it work, and then come out with only a candle and some facial serum. Not sure how that is relevant, but okay!

Here is one thing I would like to know. Why are there no op-eds about these people living in a bubble? I mean, in 2016, we never heard the end of how liberals were blindsided by the election because we all live in liberal bubbles and don't know anyone from Real America (despite how very many of us ran screaming away from Real America in our youths). Surely, conservatives have long been living in a bubble of their own — one in which, by the way, they are constantly reassured that they are the Real Americans and the Patriots and that the Second Amendment guarantees them the right to overthrow the government if they don't like it. And that's not a healthy bubble like the one where you'd be surprised that people would vote for a man who bragged about grabbing women by the pussy, or the one that protected John Travolta from all of the things in the air that could kill him. That's a scary bubble.

Anyway, Sidney Powell is gonna drop some more lawsuits, because she's still not giving up. She is now hoping to get to the Supreme Court herself, which will almost definitely not happen. They may not have yet "begun to fight," but that doesn't really matter so much when the fight is over and no one really cares if you want to try to throw a few more punches, because you're the only one standing in the ring.

I'm ... not good at sports analogies. But you get what I'm saying. They're welcome to keep trying and keep trying, they're welcome to keep trying, but at the end of the day, they aren't gonna eke out a win here. Which, frankly, is quite a relief.

[New York Times]

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