Straight Talk Express To Drive Off Metaphorical Cliff, Burst Into Real Flames?

Sad face -- or about-to-explode-into-killing-rage face?

Now that the president has commuted Scooter's sentence, running with huge stories based entirely on anonymous sources is apparently A-OK! So we now feel that we can reveal to you that we may very well not have WALNUTS! to kick around for much longer.


According those who have reason to know, the recent spate of firings at the McCain campaign are like the firings of the superfluous editorial staff and hocking of the foosball table at a San Francisco dot-com, circa 2001: a pointless time-killing exercise before the inevitable end. Word is that McCain is in the process of shutting down his office in South Carolina (where they never liked him and his illegitimate mulatto babies anyway) and will bow out of the race entirely any day now; the reportedly-soon-to-be-officially-announced Fred Thompson campaign may have something to do with the timing.

In the first concession speech to ever be given six months before a single primary vote is cast, look for McCain to choke through rising bile to endorse Thompson due to his extreme hatred of Giuliani and Romney, and for the phrase "less fucking money on hand than Ron fucking Paul" to feature prominently. Then, in 2009, Fred Thompson's first act as president will be to appoint McCain as District Attorney of Law and Order.

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