Strap It On, It Is T-Minus-Four Days To Launch Of Wonket's Holy Media Empire


Hey now, we are just going to remind you that this coming Friday, Sept. 13, will see the launch of our GLORIOUS EMPIRE as we free into the Internet wilds. YOU WILL READ IT. YOU WILL SHARE IT. YOU WILL MAKE SWEET LOVE TO IT, IN YOUR FILTHY MIND.

Also a le reminder that we will be having our launch party in Boston this Saturday. Joining me, your Editrix, will be Snipy (who will be our managing editor at HNTP), Doktor Zoom, and Fakakta South, who was all like "I WANNA WEAR A CRAZY DRESS FUCK YEAH I WILL FLY MYSELF TO BOSTON." And dudes, she is a knockout, so be ready to be an idiot.

The party, hosted by us, DigBoston, and Heineken, will be at 6 p.m. at The Tap. We have been promised fights and vomit.

Until then, you can follow HappyNiceTimes on Twitter, and also Facebook, because fuck it, why not.

Seriously, you guys, we are in full-on chicken-fucking mode -- that is that mode where you run around like you are fucking a chicken -- because ever since we bought Doktor Zoom, we forgot how to do any "work" that is not the work of yelling at Doktor Zoom to work faster. Also, we forgot how to write anything that is not a mess of dumb run-on sentences full of run-on cussing, WONK-STYLEY.

Also, judging by last week, we forgot how to do that too.

Expect us to be hounding you about this from now until forever, because OH SWEET JESUS FUCK, what if is a horrible disaster, and Snipy left her law job blah blog for nothing, and we have fucking PAYROLL now? (Businesslady entrepreneurin' job-creatin' y'all.) And OH MY GOD WE MIGHT HAVE A PANIC ATTACK WHERE IS OUR POT.

Oh good. Here it is. Never mind, everybody, we're chill.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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