Study: Republicans Oppose 'Assisted Suicide,' Cool With 'Painless End Of Life'
Look, Democrats have a lot going for them right now. There’s our “flashy” President B. Barry Bamz and his healthcare law that can’t possibly be as bad as Republicans have spent the last half a decade derping that it will be, so expectations managed there; the country’s suddenly a lot cooler with gay folks, pot smoking, all that good shit; the proponents of austerity have self-discredited; and looking into the future, there appears to be only one “titanic” Republican who could conceivably win the presidency in 2016, except his record of being relatively sane means he probably can’t win the primary. So there is really no reason for all us liberals to be assholes about a recent Gallup poll that found Republicans are significantly more likely than Democrats to give different answers to the same question depending on how the question is worded.
But we are sure we will be anyway! While yr Wonkette thinks it’s best to at least feign respect for one's opponents so as not to alienate any persuadables, this stuff always gives us a good chuckle and a warm feeling of being goddamn right, hell yeah:
The remarkable finding was that 71% of Democrats, and 68% of Republicans, support a doctor’s "end[ing] a patient’s life by some painless means" if the patient requests it and has a terminal illness, but only 60% of Democrats, and 41% of Republicans do when the question it phrased as “to assist the patient to commit suicide.”
OK, so from now we just call food stamps “liberty chips” -- problem solved! Global warming could be “the Fever of God,” Medicare can be “Doctors hate this” and illegal immigrants will become “fucking human beings fer chrissake.” Worth a shot, right?
The rest of the linked article ain't so hot, just a bunch of "Republicans watch Fox News haw haw," but it adds to the large and growing body of evidence that today's Republicans as a group are less good at using their melons than Democrats. But don't be jerks about it; just let your inner flame of righteous smugness burn a little brighter.
Thank you, Gallup goblins, this almost makes up for how you slightly freaked us the fuck out with “Romney 49%, Obama 48%.” Assholes.