Study Shows Texans In League With Satan
It comes as no surprise to the other 49 states in America that Texas is secretly run by the devil--but now there's definitive proof. A disturbing report from Experian shows that Texans' average credit score is a frightening 666.
This means, of course, that Texan spending habits are marked by the Beast and residents of the Lone Star State will be forever in debt until they retire to the inner ring of the seventh circle of Hell with the usurers and the sodomites in the desert of flaming sand. It is not unlike Abilene in the summer.
On the other hand, residents of the tiny island nation of Hawaii, where Barack Obama once consumed moderate amounts of drugs, have excellent credit. Hawaiians' average credit score was 708.
Texans have lower average credit scores, report shows [Austin Business Journal]
Hawaii's credit score better than U.S. average [Pacific Business News]