Stupidest Man On Internet Pretty Mad That Bamz Spent Easter Making Sweet Love To Muslims
Barack Hussein Obama committed the unpardonable sin of mentioning other religions in hisJesus Weed Day message, which was clearly an offense to God and a signal that he is hopelessly out of touch with the true message of Easter, which is that we must hate all Muslims forever. You see, what Obama did was to shockingly suggest that Muslims somehow share values with other people:
Holy Week and Easter are times for reflection and renewal. We remember the grace of an awesome God, who loves us so deeply that He gave us his only Son ... And we recommit ourselves to following His example, to love and serve one another, particularly “the least of these” among us, just as He loves every one of us.
The common thread of humanity that connects us all -- not just Christians and Jews, but Muslims and Hindus and Sikhs -- is our shared commitment to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. To remember, I am my brother’s keeper. I am my sister’s keeper. Whatever your faith, believer or nonbeliever, there’s no better time to rededicate ourselves to that universal mission.
For me, Easter is a story of hope – a belief in a better day to come, just around the bend.
How! Dare! He!
And so that's how we got the spectacle of Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft celebrating the Risen Lord by putting a photo of the World Trade Center attacks on his webpage.* Surely it's a gesture of sputtering incoherent outrage that the Prince of Peace must have deeply appreciated.
And just to prove that no Muslims anywhere are capable of being good or decent, Hoft also noted that "This week a girls’ seminary in Pakistan named its library after Osama bin Laden."
Excellent job, Mr. Hoft. By blaming all Muslims forever for 9/11, you perfectly embodied the message of Matthew 5:44, from the Sermon on the Mount:
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you
What a wimp! Somebody who says something like that would probably think that the sun rises on the evil and the good, and that God sends rain to both the righteous and the unrighteous. Far better to remember Easter by mocking some idiot who thinks Islam is a religion, not a political cult.
Also weighing in on this serious theological issue was shrieking harpy Pam Geller, who as a Jewish person at least doesn't need to worry about contradicting Jebus directly, and who also understands the true Meaning of Easter, with its mandatory Airing of Grievances:
It’s Easter, Obama. Address the mass persecution, oppression and slaughter of Christians across the Muslim world.
No, instead he proselytize [sic] for Islam. On Easter. It’s sick.
Yep, including "Muslims" in a list of faiths -- such blatant proselytizing. Geller goes on to explain that Muslims do not actually love their neighbors, citing a passage from the Quran that warns believers not to take Christians or Jews for friends, and adding,
So yes, Muslims believe in loving their neighbors, as long as the neighbors are Muslims. And the right kind of Muslims.
Don’t go expecting Sunni Muslims to love Shiite Muslims or vice versa. Also don’t expect Salafis to love Sunnis who are insufficiently lacking in dedication to terrorism.
Yes, yes. And the Old Testament demands genocide -- just ask the Canaanites...oh wait, you can't, because God wanted them slaughtered -- and Protestants and Catholics have always gotten along just fine. It's almost as if these Abrahamic religions all had some violent roots that insane fundamentalists insist on taking literally or something.
* Excessively scrupulous image manipulation notice: To fit our photo space, we've modified the layout, but not the content, of the screenshot from Hoft's site.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.