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Suck It, Nate Silver! Joe Scarborough Apologizes For Nothing

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Joe Scarborough, who hosts MSNBC’s morning show because the rest of MSNBC’s Obama food stamp-loving libtard talent don’t wake from their welfare-funded fortified wine benders until well after noon, is really, really sorry he conflated Nate Silver with that unwashed hillbilly “unskewed polls” guy.


And by really, really sorry, we mean he’s not sorry at all.

While most of the world has moved past the 2012 election to focus on more important things, like Ken Layne’s fun cooking blog for moms and the possible 2016 presidential candidates, Scarborough remains upset that people are so mean to him just because Nate Silver was right all along.

Just as the Beatles had the Maharishi to guide them through the tough times after the death of their manager Brian Epstein, progressives had Silver’s New York Times blog to comfort them after the first presidential debate. My liberal friends spent countless hours manically refreshing the “538” blog every three minutes or so throughout most of October seeking reassurance that President Obama would win. Water usage on the Upper West Side took a dip during that time when progressives realized that bathing regularly would keep them away from the site. Nate Silver provided cool assurance in the middle of a crazed political hothouse, and he did so by offering readers detailed numerical formats with 27 decimal points kept Democrats sane.

You probably thought the right-wingers lapping up political Harvey Fierstein Dick Morris’ unmitigated bullshit were the only ones who spent this past election in the fog of their own self-selected information, but no! Turns out, Upper West Side hippies sacrificed personal hygiene for the comforting and exotic mythology known as “math.” What jerks they were for using data and the scientific method to understand the election rather than listening to shrill pundits shouting TOO CLOSE TO CALL! in a naked attempt to bolster ratings.

Still, Scarborough is sorry he doubted Silver…this time.

And just as ball players who drink beer and eat fried chicken in dugouts across America can screw up the smartest sabermatrician’s forecast, Nate Silver’s formula is sure to let his fervent admirers down from time to time. But judging from what I saw of him this morning, Nate is a grounded guy who admits as much in his book. I was too tough on him and there’s a 84.398264% chance I will be less dismissive of his good work in the future.

Scarborough is really sorry he didn’t expect Nate Silver to get so lucky with his election guesses. There, he apologized. Lay the fuck off, you guys. [Politico]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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