Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Shudder-Inducing Ross Douthat Sexy Feelings Edition


We were going to skip the New York Times this morning because really, how many times can we yell about Thomas Friedman (ok, all of the times) and threaten to eat the rich? Even our bloodlust eventually wanes. Then we remembered we live somewhere really fucking cold and the newspaper guy had brought us the Times anyway and it was 15 below outside and we felt guilt and read the New York Times. The things we do for you and the newspaper guy.

Before we get to our usual surprise and dismay about how much of the monies rich people can spend on keeping giant gold-plated roofs over their heads, we should first take a gander at how the rich stay rich. Hard work, probably? Haha no you are A Idiot. The rich stay rich because they hide all their money.

[T]hanks to a recently released trove of documents, it’s become clear that hundreds of wealthy people have stashed their money [in the Cook Islands], including a felon who ran a $7 billion Ponzi scheme and the doctor who lost his license in the Octomom case.[...]

The Cooks are a global pioneer in offshore asset-protection trusts, with laws devised to protect foreigners’ assets from legal claims in their home countries.[...]

The Cook Islands offer a different form of secrecy. The long arm of United States law does not reach there. The Cooks generally disregard foreign court orders, making it easier to keep assets from creditors, or anyone else.

Win a malpractice suit against your doctor? To collect, you will have to go to the other side of the globe to plead your case again before a Cooks court and under Cooks law.



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