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Super Secret Spy Man Jim Garrow Survives Obama's (Or Satan's) Latest Attempt To Kill Him

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We hope you'll indulge our fondness for the paranoid ravings of Jim Garrow, the "CIA spy" who likes to tell radio talk show wingnut Erik Rush all about Barack Obama's secret plans tonuke America and to fool us into thinking that space aliens have contacted the White House, so that Russia and Canada can invade or some damn thing. Now Garrow is saying that Barack Obama is killing off Garrow's fellow secret agents because of the threat they pose to his plan for total control. Lucky thing Garrow somehow remains free to go on rightwing radio shows to share that!


Among other hobbyhorses, Rush and Garrow remain committed to the belief that military commanders are being "purged" by the Obama administration to cover up the President's plan to kill 90% of Americans so that George Soros can get rich -- all that stuff about sloppy drunk generals and cheating officers is just a cover story, you see. You just need to look at the big picture, which is that every third-rate Tom Clancy knockoff presents a plausible scenario for how the world works. (And of course, you need to keep in mind that Tom Clancy was himself knocked off by an Obama hit squad.)

On his Faceplace account earlier this month, Garrow posted an exciting account of his near-escape from an assassination attempt on January 2 in which he was lured to meet a likeminded patriot, but that was just a ruse to get him to drive his Lexus to a lunch meeting -- and while he was driving, his car's transmission "went wonky" and he found that all the fluid lines had been cut! We completely believe this!

And now, it has happened again, because as Rush and Garrow reveal on Rush's January 17 show, all those officers lost their security clearances because they are still loyal to the Constitution and to the three admirals and generals who stopped the plot to kill America with an Electromagnetic Pulse last year. But you aren't hearing it from the Lamestream media -- or really, "the propaganda arm of the Obama regime" -- because everyone but the interwebs warriors has been compromised. They may have even gotten to Alex Jones! And the closer that Rush and Garrow get to the truth, the more they're mocked -- do you need any more proof that they're on the right track? There's also something in there about Satanists running rampant in the military, we didn't quite follow them there. Also, too, Alinsky.

Anyway, things are coming to a head, Garrow says, because three of his friends have been murdered in China, "critical operatives who are "being set up" -- fortunately, the latest assassination attempt on Garrow -- we think it may be different from the January 2 car thing; he says it was "just days ago" -- failed, because God prevented it, although Mr. Garrow is not at liberty to reveal the details. And maybe it was satan, not Obama, like there's a difference. And now the military is being purged of anyone who's not willing to kill Americans for Obama, so be sure to tell all your friends, so they will know about this top-secret plot that only people on the interwebs know about. And Muslims are everywhere in the highest levels of the government.

We are kind of getting addicted to Erik Rush's crazy-ass interwebs show. It's sort of like Art Bell without having to try to tune in an AM station on a long night drive.

[RightWingWatch / Erik Rush]

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. All in all, he thinks ponies make more sense.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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On Monday, someone attempted to murder George Soros by putting a bomb in his mailbox. Also on Monday, someone threw a rock into House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy's office. Also, I spilled some hot coffee on myself. These are all things that happened on Monday, and were by some measure unpleasant. While most people might say, "Yes, all of those things are unpleasant, but they are not equal degrees of unpleasant," most people are not Chuck Schumer.

In what appears to be an attempt to get someone on Fox News to describe him as a "reasonable guy," Schumer sent out a tweet today lamenting the "despicable acts of violence and harassment" being done by "both sides."

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Republicans are KILLIN' IT in Florida, you guys! No worries about election day, Gators. It's all smooooooth sailing for the Sunshine State GOP. Just take it from Governor Rick Scott's lead pollster Wes Anderson, who produced a whimsical, unskewed poll for the campaign, featuring nostalgic jams about high Republican turnout in those good old days, telling the Tampa Bay Times,

As the linked slides indicate, Governor Scott currently leads Senator Nelson 51% to 46%, a lead that is outside of the margin of error.

It should also be noted that this sample from last week is very robust at 2,200 interviews of likely voters, stratified by county to reflect historic mid-term turnout. Our sample shows the Republicans with a one-point turnout advantage, even though we believe we will end up with a two- or three-point advantage. For historical context, in the past two mid-term elections Republicans had a four-point advantage in 2010 and a three-point advantage in 2014. At R+1, that makes our current sample a very conservative take on the likely partisan composition of this year's electorate.

NEEDZ MOAR BILL MURRAY.

No other pollster has replicated those numbers, with SurveyUSA, Quinnipiac, and CNN/SSRS all finding Bill Nelson in the lead, but if OnMessage, Inc. says Scott is running way ahead, then it must be true! Only OnMessage promises to "take your principles, your experience, and your opponent's weaknesses to develop a winning message plan that the voters will embrace." And who wouldn't trust a push pollster, right?

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