Super Successful Lawyer Larry Klayman Is Your New Patrick Henry, America


Gentle readers, you probably spent last week in a bit of cognitive dissonance as you, regrettably, had to agree with Rand Paul about a thing. You probably moved through the five stages of grief in rapid succession:

  • denial: it cannot be possible that I agree with Rand Paul about drones
  • bargaining: ok, maybe it is cool if I just agree with him about this one thing, because drones really are bad
  • depression: I can't really live with myself if I agree with Rand Paul
  • acceptance: So be it. I, too, think that using drones to kill 'mericans on 'merican soil is bad, just like Rand Paul.

In tentatively agreeing with Rand Paul, however, you probably (hopefully!) did not go full nutter like Larry Klayman.

To insure that Obama’s mission to enslave the nation in his brand of Marxist ideology succeeds in the face of imminent rebellion by the informed masses, his government has armed itself to the teeth, unleashed black helicopters in our major cities to intimate the people and set up committees to determine who in its estimation is a “subversive” and may have to be eliminated with drone and other strikes on American citizens on U.S. soil. [See "Obama prepares to kill 2nd American Revolution"]. And, last but not least, to this end, Obama has also issued executive actions as the first step to removing the people’s Second Amendment right to bear arms to defend themselves against “his” government and its evil designs.

Yes, "informed masses" -- Larry Klayman is your vanguard, your spiritual leader. Yea, though you walk through the valley of drone, you will fear no evil, because Larry Klayman is with you. When you look back and see only one set of footprints during your most troubled dronetimes, it will be because Larry Klayman carried you.

And who better to lead a revolution than a man with such a glowing track record? Larry Klayman has unsuccessfully represented Bradlee Dean, maybe sorta kinda touched his own children inappropriately, and writes screeds about how Bamz is coming for whitey. He's also explained his revolutionary intentions in a super-coherent, super-inspiring way:

We the People, initially using all non-violent means, must ourselves rise up! But if in the end it means following the lead of our First Founding Father, Patrick Henry, we reserve our God-given rights to defend ourselves and to restore liberty to our shores.

As in colonial times leading to the birth of a free country, we will never surrender! Instead, must be prepared to use all legally righteous means to restore the country to greatness!

Give us liberty or give us death! God did not forsake our Founding Fathers, and He will not forsake us!

Hey informed masses that righteously burn with the fever of revolution or the fever of late-stage syphilis, or something? You might want to consider a new leader. One without so much baggage. One with an actual possibility of, well, leading or succeeding. Most importantly one! who! understands! exclamation points! do not go FUCKING EVERYWHERE!



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