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Department of Attacking American Citizens Who Are Tired of This Fucking Bullshit.Remember when people were freaking out over the Patriot Act and Homeland Security and all this other conveniently ready-to-go post-9/11 police state stuff, because it would obviously be just a matter of time before the whole apparatus was turned against non-Muslim Americans when they started getting complain-y about the social injustice and economic injustice and income inequality and endless recession and permanent unemployment? That day is now, and has been for some time. But it's also now confirmed that it's now, as some Justice Department official screwed up and admitted that the Department of Homeland Security coordinated the riot-cop raids on a dozen major #Occupy Wall Street demonstration camps nationwide yesterday and today. (Oh, and tonight, too: Seattle is being busted up by the riot cops right now, so be careful out there.)


Rick Ellis of the Minneapolis edition of Examiner.com has this, based on a "background conversation" he had with a Justice Department official on Monday night:

Over the past ten days, more than a dozen cities have moved to evict "Occupy" protesters from city parks and other public spaces. As was the case in last night's move in New York City, each of the police actions shares a number of characteristics. And according to one Justice official, each of those actions was coordinated with help from Homeland Security, the FBI and other federal police agencies.

[...]

According to this official, in several recent conference calls and briefings, local police agencies were advised to seek a legal reason to evict residents of tent cities, focusing on zoning laws and existing curfew rules. Agencies were also advised to demonstrate a massive show of police force, including large numbers in riot gear. In particular, the FBI reportedly advised on press relations, with one presentation suggesting that any moves to evict protesters be coordinated for a time when the press was the least likely to be present.

Well gosh, that's exactly what happened. Good to know the FBI and DHS are "always there to help a brother out." (This is their motto, in Latin.)

(And for those who are understandably doubtful about Examiner.com as a news source, here's an AP story from a couple hours ago that verifies everything except the specific mention of DHS coordination.)

Meanwhile, according to the steady stream of insanity on the Twitter, the Seattle riot cops just "maced a pregnant woman, a kid, a priest, and a blind woman w/ a fucking cane!" We know a version of this with a rabbi and Batman and Jesus and a grasshopper ordering a Grasshopper at a bar, we think? But nothing about riot cops spraying a pregnant woman with mace.

And meanwhile at Zuccotti Park, there are thousands of people apparently ready to mix it up with the cops, who are using some kind of DARPA audio-pain weapon on the assembled humans. No way this could turn ugly!

AND, on Thursday, the Ocupados are planning to (finally?) march on the New York Stock Exchange. If they throw a roll of pennies on the trading floor, this should create a distraction and then they can just demolish the whole evil building, just as Darth Vader did not so long ago:

This does lead to some thoughts about "what #OWS should do next." For example, if cops always attack the #occupy protests because they're told to by Obama's Justice Department, perhaps the protests should simply invade and occupy the Justice Department and all the dozen federal and state cop offices in every town in the country, since the cops are already there. It would save a lot of time! [Examiner.com/Associated Press]

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Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug ... He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks: dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire.

Yr Wonkette is no stranger to the double-edged weapon of sarcasm, we'll admit. OR WILL WE? It's part of our postmodern toolkit, with which we seek to undermine patriotism, faith, the free market, the family, and ultimately America itself. Duh. But we would never be so naive as to think we have a monopoly on irony and sarcasm, oh no, far from it. This week, we dip into the sludge of deletia for some brilliant examples of cutting rightwing wit turned back on us, with devastating results. Hope you're not all TRIGGERED so much you have to go find a SAFE SPACE, libs!

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This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

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