Don't Clean Your Home Again Until You've Read This! Tabs, Thurs., June 25, 2020

Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Come see the rhetorical violence inherent in the system!

Gavin Newsom, shut your shit down. "Alarming Spike in Coronavirus Sparks Fears California Is 'Starting to Lose This Battle'." (LA Times)

Trump made a promise (to pay for coronavirus treatment for people) and is "fall[ing] short"? That can't be right, Politico!

Oh look, Florida hospitals "at capacity." — CBS Miami

Oh, Texas too! (Texas Tribune)

Luckily, the Trump admin is shutting down federal testing sites in Texas. Oh, and Cornyn and Cruz don't like it *when it's Texas*. (Talking Points Memo)

Besides, my grocery store checker yestertoday said coronavirus is "over" and is "a flu virus" and she and her husband and her friend's 90-year-old mother have "already had it" and "you can't live your life in fear." Anyway, that Politico is all like "we don't know about the disability toll" of longterm consequences, and Politico, stop living your life in fear!

Marco Rubio, Greg Abbott, and Rick Scott, stop living your lives in fear! (Talking Points Memo)

Secret Service agents stop living your lives in ... oh, maybe some more fear would help. — Washington Post

My grocery store lady wasn't like this though.

Yes, something needs to be adjusted all right.

I'm sure he can fix it with some more insane judicial decisions, like Judge Neomi Rao's Flynn decision. — Smart lawsplainer at Slate

Sure LA Times, "What Rich People Are Buying During Coronavirus"? I'll bite. Oh hahahaha, it's jewels? Because ...

"Not everyone has been financially hurt by this," said Nikfarjam, who added that her clients were looking for ways to support brands they'd done business with previously. "There has been a giving mentality. I'm pleasantly surprised."

A giving mentality, for "jewels." Do you love it? No? Okay me either. (LAT)

Say guys, if you haven't spent all your money on jewels, the slush fund is a couple thousand upside down, and we've got several people who need some slightly biggish help still. (Wonkette Reader Aid Gofundme)

Also, Wonkette always needs a dollar. Or, I guess, a jewel. Even though you can't even eat jewels, they are not even delicious.

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And if you need me to cancel your donations, guess what I will do that! Unlike the Trump campaign, which STILL SOMEHOW is forcing people to google "cancel trump donation" and they end up finding a 2016 post about how you can't cancel Trump donations and somehow think I am the person to cancel it for them? They might not be that bright.

Like, this JUST HAPPENED. Poor lady.

I ... Milwaukee ... okay, the cops didn't do jackshit and I believe you if you say they made it worse, but burning the house down means the child sex trafficking ring (??) evidence is lost. Mob justice might not be the best way to go. UrbanMilwaukee

Your friend CripDyke on Cornelius Frederick, a 16-year-old boy who was I can't breathed at a "residential school" in Michigan. — Pervert Justice

Private Facebook groups are just HILARIOUS, HILARIOUS I SAY, in their clever racisms about George Floyd, who them why they never! (CNET)

In case you were wondering, hey, is Rebecca family with the woman who naked zoomed Gilbert Gottfried's daughter's bat mitzvah? The answer is of course I am family with the woman who naked zoomed Gilbert Gottfried's daughter's bat mitzvah! Franny was my brother's dad's girlfriend for decades; Franny is indeed the best. (Oh whoops forgot TAB! Page Six)

Oh, more provisionally good electoral news! Looks like the young gay black dude may beat the old weird homophobe Pentecostal preacher who was unaccountably leading in a super prog Bronx district! (HuffPost)

Well okay, Western Montana Growers Co-op, looks like I've got kohlrabi and like seven lettuces coming at me this week, I better look at five things to do with kohlrabi to go with my kale. :(

Quick, somebody make me a cake. Maybe a BIRTHDAY CAKE because the littlest (only) granddaughter is THREE!


Okay bye bye!

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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