Trump's Executive Time Golfing Ketchup Omelet National Emergency Holiday Whack-Off Weekend Was Pretty Chill

This is not what normal people do on vacation.

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Trump's Plan B: Make WALL From California's Ashes, Tears Of Puerto Ricans

Just mix in a bit of military funding magic and PRESTO: a lawsuit!

White House

Congress Reaches Shutdown Deal If Fox & Friends Don't Veto It

Mexico still unaccountably refusing to pay for WALL.

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Rudy Giuliani: Why Can't We Threaten Michael Cohen's Father-In-Law, Is This America Or What?

Do not make Adam Schiff come in there and get your sorry ass, Bro!

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Elijah Cummings COMING For President Secret Agent Man

OH, IT'S ON!

Russia

Nancy Pelosi Was Going To Go To Afghanistan Anyway, But Trump F*cked That Up Too

Oh look, he was trying to put Pelosi AND the troops in Afghanistan in danger!

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Let's Liveblog Nancy Pelosi Taking Back That Gavel And Immediately Beating The Sh*t Out Of Everybody With It!

BLUE WAAAAAAAAAAAVE!

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Relax, Everyone: Robert Mueller Is Not DUMPING YOU, Just Kidding Maybe He Is

Russia

Christian Foster Care Agency Hating On The Catholics, Because It's The 1950s Apparently

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Clarence Thomas: Who Left This Pubic Hair On Trump's First Amendment?

Media/Entertainment

Trump So Mad At Dan Coats He's Gonna Be A Chickensh*t Who's Too Scared To Fire Him

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