You Can Have Donald Trump's Jitterbug Old People Phone When You Pry It From His Cold Dead Hands

Now that Obama's out of office, no one would wire tapp Trump anyway.

AARP Tells GOP To Get That Filthy TrumpCare Off Its Lawn

With global warming, there aren't even enough ice floes to strand the old folks on.

Wonkette Official Medical Opinion: We Are So Fucked

Thanks, Paul Ryan! No really, fuck you.