Lil' Scandal Roundup
Look, we just can't do a whole post on every little scandal. We need to focus on the important scandals, such as strangling mistresses and threatening to rape and murder drunk gals in Las Vegas.
So we are forced to start a new feature called Lil' Scandal Roundup. This is the first one. Yes, all of these crimes and allegations are important in their own way, just not so much to us, right now, with the entire United States government collapsing like the World Trade Center.
* We've found a Democrat accused of the gayness with the boys! Sadly, he's some state senator in South Dakota, which is in Canada. [KSFY TV]
* Speaking of gay, RNC superstar Ken Mehlman apparently took some U2 tickets from Abramoff, which is a crime because U2 sucks. [Henry Waxman]
* South of Canada, in the state of Kansas, Republican attorney general Phill Kline lost his "special assistant attorney general," otherwise known as former attorney general and Republican leader Bob Stephan, because Stephan caught Kline doing "campaign fundraising" in churches. Meaning, he collected money from Jesus Freaks and gave it to his wife's business. [Lawrence Journal World]
* California's Republican congressional candidate Tan D. Nguyen totally swears he didn't "personally" send that letter, in Spanish, to 14,000 voters in Orange County telling them they'd be deported and sodomized in a Syrian prison if they dare show up to vote for Democrat incumbent Loretta Sanchez. [ABC News]