Michael Cohen Asks Santa For Early Release, SDNY Dumps Load Of Coal Down His Chimney

World's shittiest witness this side of Lev Parnas says WHAT?

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Michael Cohen's So Excited! He's So Excited! He's So ... SCARED!

He can't go to Congress now, because Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani are THREATENING HIM. Sucks when the shoe's on the other foot, doesn't it, MICHAEL?

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