591 Workers At Tyson Pork Plant Test Positive For Covid-19. Is That Bad? It Sounds Like It Could Be Bad.​

But what do we know? Maybe a quarter of the workforce being infected is good.

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Department Of Homeland Security Wants To Keep List Of Journalists' 'Sentiment.' THIS IS FINE!

Now don't go making up a bunch of fake news about this story, OK? They're watching you.

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Rejoice, Workers! Corporations Got Their Tax Cut, So Prepare To Be Trickled Upon!

Huge corporations wouldn't do anything out of purely cynical motives, would they?

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Chemicals At Flooded Texas Plant Definitely Didn't Explode, Sheriff Says, They Just Popped A Bit

Maybe it was an 'explosion,' but really, it was more of a vigorous 'overpressure' and 'rupture' of a container, OK?

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