Congress To Hold Hearings On How Gross Trump's Yeti Pubes Really Are

Just no visual aids of the Mario Kart dick, please. The whole world is trying to eat lunch right now.

Elijah Cummings Just Asking SDNY If There's Anybody's Ass He Ought To Beat Right Now (Hint Hint!)

Jerry Nadler's not the only one pissed at the abrupt and weird end to the SDNY's investigation into Donald Trump's campaign finance crimes.

Yep, Michael Cohen Is A Criminal. Sounds Like His Boss And Hope Hicks Are Too!

All of these fuckers should be in prison.

Michael Cohen Warrant Docs Would Freak Trump The F*ck Out, If Trump Could Read (Allegedly!)

We're not saying he can't read. We're just saying documents like these are way above his pay grade.