Michael Cohen Has Idea: What If He Went To NOT Prison Next Month?

HAAAAAAAIL MARY!

HOLY JESUS F*CK! Your Michael Cohen Liveblog!

Read the opening statement, and then let's watch this shitshow together!

We Read All 284 Pages Of BuzzFeed's Trump Tower Moscow Documents, And Now We Hate Everybody In This Story

Here, see if this connects some dots for you!

Trump Idiots 'Debunk' Michael Cohen Story By Shrieking HAW HAW BUZZFEED SUX!

Meanwhile, the president responded to the revelation he suborned perjury by tampering with the witness some more. Totally normal!