Did Two Syphilitic Raccoons Just F*ck Each Other To Death In The Rose Garden, Or Was That Just Trump's Brain?

'I didn't need to do this,' said the president, about the NATIONAL EMERGY he just declared.

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U R CORDIALY INVITED 2 TRUMMP VERY GUD STAE OF UNIOM SPECH TOMOROW NITE OK?

If the Republicans who run our government don't have to spellcheck, we don't either.

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