WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TODAY? OMG WE HAVE NO IDEA! Should we distract ourselves from the Kavanaugh/Rosenstein/UN Fiascopalooza with these polling funtimes?

Yes, we should. So, let's talk about governor's races, which are just as important as Congress. Because, assuming democracy survives Donald Trump, 2020 will be a census year. After which we'll redraw congressional districts nationwide. And the only way out of this nightmare is to un-ratfuck the maps so that Republicans can't steal all the House seats. So we need to start taking back those statehouses, STAT!

Luckily, we've nominated some really great candidates. Also luckily, the GOP is not sending their best. They're sending their racists. They're sending their morons. They're sending their gun-toting nationalists. And some, we assume, are good people. (No, not really.)

First up, GEORGIA!

Former Georgia House Minority Leader Stacey Abrams is running neck and neck with Secretary of State Brian Kemp. You'll recall that the Georgia GOP begged Trump not to endorse Kemp in the runoff, but President ADD's last second tweet pushed Kemp over the edge. So now they're stuck with this idiot.

Which is why the Atlanta Journal Constitution had the race tied in Georgia three weeks ago, and Abrams's own internal polling now shows her ahead.


Movin' on to IOWA!

Is it THE LAW that all lady politicians in Iowa have the same haircut? Is there only one hairstylist in the whole state? It's a mystery.


What is clear is that Iowa's sitting governor -- Kim Reynolds, who took over for Terry Branstad (and who is NOT Joni Ernst) -- is losing ground to Democratic businessman Fred Hubbell. The Des Moines Register gives Hubbell a two-point lead on the GOP incumbent.

This is the second poll in a month that shows Hubbell in the lead, so ... GO, HAWKEYES!

FLORIDA Man is ... okay, actually!

We admit it, on election night when Andrew Gillum won the primary, our hearts sank. [FDF is speaking for FDF.] Would Florida really elect an African American governor? But turns out Trump pal Ron "Sinus Infection" DeSantis can't go a day without stepping on his own racist wiener.


The latest University of North Florida poll showing a four-point lead for Gillum makes six consecutive polls with Gillum up. Did Trump endorse DeSantis, saddling the Florida GOP with a weaker candidate, just like in Georgia? Ayup. Well played, Poppy!

And let's bring it on home with ... KANSAS???

Once again, Trump's handpicked guy is throwing away a race which should be a slam dunk. Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach is polling just ONE POINT AHEAD of state Senator Laura Kelly in a state Trump took by 20 points in 2016.


Former Republican Governor Bill Graves endorsed Kelly to right Kansas's ship after Sam Brownback's disastrous tenure, and former Republican Senator Nancy Kassebaum is throwing her weight behind Kelly as well.

But never fear, because Kobach has A PLAN.

Yes, nothing says FIGHTIN' FOR THE LITTLE GUY like a $15,000 per person fundraiser in the style of actual European aristocrats in a state facing devastating budget cuts. Shine on Kris Kobach, you crazy, crazy diamond!

Blue wave, y'all! Now get your ass out there and VOTE!

[Abrams Internal Polling / Des Moines Register]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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