Teabags Of Doom Inundate Senate
Huzzah, another contribution from a brave Senate staffer who has suffered the terrible onslaught of anthrax (or "tea") bags from voters who dislike taxes. All of these heavily irradiated teabags represent Freedom from Tyranny.
Note that many people opted not to send actual tea but just the little paper sleeve they came in, and one teabagger thought that a bag of fucking Vanilla Chai would really stick it to the man. This is the most terrifying bit of mail an elected official could hope to receive, besides maybe a goat's head in a box.
Our informant, "Bilbo 'Baggs," tells us that this is a pretty representative haul from a typical mail run, which happens four or five times a day. Goodness gracious, that is a lot of anthrax to sort through.