We Guess Something Happened With The Crypto?

Now is either the time to bury it or double down. Haha, we mean bury it!

The world's cryptocurrencies and NFTs and Dutch tulip markets all went into the shitter this week, with enormous losses in value in the weird janky digital "money" that seemed kind of fishy to most people. How bad was the collapse? Something called Luna that was worth $85 last week is suddenly worth a penny now, and that is apparently a really big deal, CNET reports. Big swings in cyrpto currencies like bitcoin and ether are "notoriously volatile assets reacting to tempestuous economic conditions." But this Luna thing is like, bigger, and maybe you'll understand the following two paragraphs:

What's much more unusual, and much more important, is the collapse of the luna cryptocurrency and its associated TerraUSD (UST) stablecoin. You may not have heard of UST before, or know what a stablecoin is, but it's a big deal. Billions of dollars in crypto wealth has been vaporized, sending shockwaves throughout the whole market.

There are two intertwined stories here: That of the UST stablecoin and that of luna, both of which are part of the Terra blockchain. The UST coin is designed to retain a value of one US dollar at all times, but depegged on Saturday and has since fallen to as low as 30 cents. Then there's luna, the centerpiece of Terra's ecosystem. Its value has collapsed in one of the most stunning crypto crashes ever recorded.

Can't Geordi just reverse the polarity of the phase emitters and send a tachyon pulse into the temporal rift? That always did the trick in the old days.

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Elon Musk Inviting Trump Back To Twitter To Promote Next Violent Insurrection, We Guess

This is so very 2022.

Elon Musk announced Tuesday that if his Twitter takeover goes through, he’d swiftly restore Donald Trump’s Twitter account. We all saw this coming, but now it’s official and potentially life-threatening.

Musk dropped the news during remarks at the Financial Times's Future of the Car conference. You’ll recall that Musk makes frequently recalled vehicles in addition to his future work turning Twitter into a free-range troll farm.

"I do think it was not correct to ban Donald Trump, I think that was a mistake," Musk said. "I would reverse the perma-ban. ... But my opinion, and Jack Dorsey, I want to be clear, shares this opinion, is that we should not have perma-bans.”

Musk called Trump’s Twitter ban a “morally bad decision” and “foolish in the extreme.” He doesn’t think Twitter should ban users permanently, but instead should consider temporary suspensions or timeouts. Of course, rightwing trolls like Trump will still cry censorship over both, and since they’re incapable of modifying their behavior, they’ll either face regular suspension (a de facto ban) or Twitter will just throw up its hands and let them smear crap over the cyber walls. It’s not a mystery where this is headed.

Let’s take a quick trip back to the distant past of last year. Twitter was always more lenient with Trump’s tweets than it was with the average user. Facebook and Twitter generally allowed world leaders a wide berth to break most but not all of their rules. Vox explains that they cited “the public interest and newsworthiness of almost anything world leaders had to say.” The obvious problem here is that LoserBoy298 sharing racist memes and conspiracy theories to an audience of 100 people is far less dangerous than the literal president of the United States doing the same but to audience of millions.

PREVIOUSLY: Elon Musk Can Buy Twitter And Turn It Into A Troll Site, But He Can't Force Anyone To Stay

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Nice Time

Nice Time! Biden Announces Free Broadband For Working Families

Wingnuts fret it's Obamaphones all over again.

President Biden yesterday announced that 20 internet companies will start providing low-cost broadband internet service to low-income Americans, as part of a deal growing out of last year's Bipartisan Infrastructure Law. The infrastructure bill already offered $30-a-month subsidies to help low-income folks pay for internet (the subsidy increases to $75 in tribal areas). Those subsidies are available to millions of people. Now, the 20 internet providers will set up a new tier of broadband plans that cost just $30 per month, so with the subsidy, the plans will will be free for as many as 48 million families.

At a White House Rose Garden event yesterday, Biden said, "High speed internet is not a luxury any longer. It’s a necessity." The AP adds,

Biden noted that families of four earning about $55,000 annually — or those including someone eligible for Medicaid — will get a $30 monthly credit, meaning about 40 percent of Americans will qualify.

The subsidies, through the Affordable Connectivity Program, were a top goal for Biden and other supporters of the infrastructure bill, particularly as the pandemic highlighted the "digital divide" that means low-income homes don't have reliable internet access. That was dramatically illustrated by a viral August 2020 photo showing two little girls sitting on a curb outside a Taco Bell so they could use the restaurant's wifi to do homework on school-issued laptops.

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White Nonsense

Ben Shapiro: Elon Musk Doesn’t Need Liberal Twitter Staff Or Liberal Twitter Users ... Just This Ashtray

And maybe this paddle game and remote control ...

Elon Musk is all set to acquire Twitter, which it seems pleases no one who actually works at Twitter. Ben Shapiro — an evil ventriloquist dummy that came to life — declared yesterday that Musk should just fire everyone at the company because they’re all liberal. That should reinforce Musk’s supposed commitment to free speech!

I’m not sharing video of that twerp, but here’s what he said:

Musk needs to come in and he needs to fire everyone. I mean, everyone! Twitter has hundreds, if not thousands of employees.

There’s been studies done of the donations, the political donations of the people working at Twitter. 98.7% of all donations from the people working at Twitter went to Democrats in the last election.

Forgive me for stating the obvious here but Ben Shapiro is bone-dead stupid. I last worked in corporate management a decade ago, but I still think it matters whether a corporation employs “hundreds” or “thousands” of people. That’s the sort of minor fact you’d want to confirm before proposing mass layoffs.

PREVIOUSLY: Nothing Makes Ben Shapiro Madder Than Capitalism Working For Poor People

Twitter has about 7,000 employees. It’s actually a relatively small company compared to Facebook, which employs 71,970 full-time employees as of December 2021. (Facebook hired 10,000 people just in 2020.) Twitter is based in California, which is an at-will employment state. Musk can fire all the employees he wants but he can’t do so for unlawful reasons. That includes an employee’s race, gender, disability, sexual orientation, religion, and yes their political beliefs and affiliation. Someday Harvard Law is going to demand its diploma back.

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