Tennessee Lt. Governor: Don't Panic, But Every Christian Needs A Gun Right Now
Locked and Loaded for the Lord
Like so many Americans, Tennessee Lt. Gov. Ron Ramsey was overcome with emotion following the murders of nine people at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon. So the day after the tragedy, he did what Americans do in times of national mourning: He posted a lot of stupid shit to social media, including a warning that good Christians need to arm themselves because the enemies of Jesus are coming for them. It's always nice to see a government official make practical suggestions after such a horrible event, instead of politicizing the issue by blathering on about ridiculous pipe dreams of reducing gun violence.
Ramsey decided that rather than merely mourn or pray, he'd offer some practical advice, so he took to Facebook to encourage "Christians who are serious about their faith to think about getting a handgun carry permit":
We're especially moved by Ramsey's explanation that there's one thing the mass shootings in Charleston, Chattanooga, Virginia, and Roseburg all share:
Whether the perpetrators are motivated by aggressive secularism, jihadist extremism or racial supremacy, their targets remain the same: Christians and defenders of the West.
Yes, friends, every single victim who died in all four incidents was a committed Christian murdered for their belief in Jesus Christ, and if they weren't, then by God, Ramsey's going to find a way to fit them into that "persecuted Christian" slot one way or the other.
We're also happy that he tells people not to panic, but that "our enemies" are everywhere, they have guns, and we need to be ready to blow them away like Jesus would want.
Ramsey's call for Christian soldiers -- or at least a half-assed Christian militia -- was prompted by some survivors' reports that the shooter asked some of his victims if they were Christian. If they said they were, one survivor told her father, the gunman replied, "Good, because you’re a Christian, you’re going to see God in just about one second," then shot them in the head. Another survivor said that if people answered another religion or said nothing, he shot them in the leg. The accounts are very similar to the much mythologized (and inaccurate) story that one of the killers at Columbine asked a girl if she believed in God, then shot her when she said "Yes" -- a myth so popular on the right that Rick Santorum trotted it out during the second Republican debate.
After Ramsey made that perfectly reasonable suggestion for Christians -- at least the ones who are serious about their faith, since backsliders can get away with saying "I'm spiritual but not religious" and then take a shot to the leg -- wouldn't you know some Democrat would come along and politicize it? State Rep. Jon Ray Clemmons issued a statement saying that Ramsey's Facebook comments "reek of fear mongering and religious crusading." Clemmons added:
There is an eerie absence of logic in his statement that ties one’s Christian faith to firearms ownership that is offensive to all religions [...] Things have never ended well when any leader has asked people to take up arms in the name of their religious faith.
Yr Wonkette certainly appreciates Rep. Clemmons's sentiments, but we would also like to thank Lt. Gov. Ramsey for his contribution to the annals of Tennessee political stupidity. We had worried a bit that with the defeat last year of 2013's Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Stacey Campfield, the state might not keep up with Texas and Florida in the production of pure rightwing dipshittery, but Ramsey appears truly gifted. We are relieved that we worried for nothing.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.