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It's a good thing America "calmed down" after the weekend massacres! Now we can get back to worrying about snow, dead animals everywhere, exploding BMWs around the Pentagon/CIA, flooding in Australia, and more massacres. The Terror Threat Alert Level is "super dooper high" and our guest presenter "The Snooki" was going to illustrate this with syphilis but instead we drew survey marks on her head and sent her to get a GED. Who wins? America wins! Also the Wonkbot has finally thrown out your teevee with all its vulgar garbage inside.


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While Donald Trump went to make fart noises at America's foes in the EU and shit all over our traditional enemy, the United Kingdom, it seems his administration had some tough talk for those darned Britons or English or Ukies -- they have many names! -- about the UK's oppression of religious minorities. Or at least the oppression of one guy: Tommy Robinson, the founder of the far-right anti-Muslim English Defence League, and his religious freedom to violate a court order, Reuters reports.

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The House Freedom Caucus is at it again, and this time they're taking aim at fellow Republican Rod Rosenstein. Politico reported Friday that Mark Meadows (R-Cackalacky) and Jim Jordan (R-Coverup) are ginning up support to impeach the deputy attorney general. See, Rosenstein is in BIG TROUBLE MISTER for refusing to turning over all the DOJ's confidential source material on the Russia investigation so that the GOP treason weasels can selectively leak it to their pals at Fox.

Rod Rosenstein does not have time for this shit -- he's busy right now indicting all those Russian military officials for hacking our election!

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