Tesla Motors Pays Back Gummint Loan 9 Years Early, Proving That Green Energy Is A Scam
Hey, remember how the bankruptcy of asolar panel company proved beyond any doubt that gummint should not be picking winners and losers, and green energy is a joke? On a scale of Watergate to Benghazi, one company filing for Chapter 11 was obviously a Fast and Furious. Some guy -- we forget his name, but he liked car elevators and dancing ponies (not that there's anything wrong with dancing Ponies) -- went a step further during the last presidential campaign and insisted that all government investment in renewable energy was therefore a crock. Among the companies he said was an obvious "loser" was Tesla Motors, a plucky electric-car startup that had 13,000 orders for its Model S even as wossname said it was going to fold. Then again, the former auto executive called it "Tester" motors, so maybe he just meant them.
What ever happened to that guy, anyway?
Turns out that the company name wasn't all he botched, since Tesla Motors just repaid its $465 million loan to the feds, nine years before it was due. We look forward to the usual suspects' careful explanations of how this proves nothing, because obviously Tesla would have done just fine without Precious Taxpayer Moneez. You know, like GM didn't need a bailout and Fannie Mae would never pay back its loans.
So just how hard is Tesla failing? You know, besides its Model S being the bestest car in the history of ever according to Consumer Reports? What about that loan thing? Please enlighten us (with energy-saving compact fluorescent bulbs), San Jose Mercury News:
"This is another important contribution to what the Obama Administration has done to preserve and promote America's auto industry," U.S. Energy Secretary Ernest Moniz said in a statement Wednesday. "This announcement is also good news for the future of America's growing electric vehicle industry."
Moniz noted that sales of electric vehicles in the United States tripled last year and said "Tesla and other U.S. manufacturers are in a strong position to compete for this growing global market."
Not too shabby! Yr Editrix also recalls asking her dad what the big deal about Lee Iacocca was, and he was all like, "He got a government loan that no one expected him to pay back, AND HE PAID IT BACK!!" Funny, you would almost think that loans and loan guarantees to private industry can actually have good results, which is obviously crazy talk.
Hey, Tesla Motors Press Center! Yr Wonkette would just like to note that a road trip from Boise to Seattle would be an excellent showcase for the long-distance capabilities of the Model S. We are just saying.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.