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Texas GOP Candidate Talks Sense to Actual Crowd of Donkeys (GET IT?)

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If you can get past the fact that GOP Texas congressional candidate Roger Williams is trying to talk patriotism into a horde of dim, braying livestock animals as though they were godless socialist human welfare recipients, this campaign ad is rather fun. Who doesn't love stupid donkey videos?? The staggering quantity of boring, hack political ads that envelope Earth during election season is an icy Europa subsurface ocean-sized brain freeze strong enough to put everyone into a thousand-year coma, is all we are saying. But where is this "United States of France" he is talking about located?

Haha, nowhere. But we have heard of "France," some country with an "elitist social safety net" and fields of high-quality booze-growing plants that we will be visiting if Rick Perry wins the presidential election. Oh well, we appreciate absurdism as much as the next guy!

Seriously, just saying, this is at least humorous. Remember the time Mitt Romney made a video about driving around bombed-out Detroit to remind America that it is living through civilizational Apocalypse? Stupid donkeys or Apocalypse? YOU DECIDE THE WAY YOU ABORT YOUR BRAIN. That is Democracy, in 2011. [YouTube]

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If there is anything that right-wing men seem to love, it is paying lots and lots of money to other dudes who will tell them how to live and/or function.

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Screenshot- Laura Ingraham Show

According to Rachel Campos Duffy, former reality TV personality and current Fox News personality, migrant baby jails are better than the "Projects". And she totally knows this for fact because she has a "black friend" who told her so. This totally mysterious black friend enlightened her on the horrors faced by black people in black places, which makes it perfectly okay for Trumpco to lock away those "privileged" brown babies. Also, stop being mean to her for spewing that hot garbage on the Laura Ingraham (who believes baby jails are like "Summer Camp") show, because it's not fair that you refuse to believe she has a black friend.

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