Texas Governor Candidate Greg Abbott Wanted To Keep Cheats Like 'Gregory W. Abbott' From Voting, Even If They're White
Texas has one humdinger of a Voter ID law, because they don't want any more of the voter fraud going on. You know, the kind that doesn't actually exist, but that everyone knows is rampant. One of the biggest supporters of the law is state Attorney General Greg Abbott, who's also running for governor. He's especially proud of the law's provision that requires the name on people's photo ID to be exactly the same as the name on the voter rolls, because only a voter-fraudy person would register to vote under a different name than the one on their driver's license, right? Like for instance this one guy whose name on his license is "Gregory Wayne Abbott," but whose name on the voting rolls is "Greg Abbott." That bastard'snot gonna get away with voting fraudulently, that's for damn sure.
Exceptin' there was this Democrat state Senator -- name of "Wendy Davis" on the voter rolls, but "Wendy Russell Davis" on her driver's license, the sneak -- and she added this amendment to the law that allows someone to vote even if the ID and the voter rolls don't match perfectly, as long as the two names are "substantially similar." They can sign an affidavit stating they're the right person and their vote will still be counted. Pretty selfish of her, but that little loophole will allow her to vote for herself for governor, as long as she signs that affidavit. Same for Greg Abbott. Wonder if he's thanked her? Probably not, seeing as how she's too stupid to be governor.
Of course, women who get married and change their names, and have one last name on the voter rolls and another on the voter rolls, may still be screwed -- look at what happened a couple weeks back to Judge Sandra Watts, who was flagged for possible fraud because her license has her maiden name for her middle name, while the voter roll uses her married name for her middle name. Turns out Texas is just overflowing with potential voter fraudsters who claim they know who they are, and a lot of them are even white!
We'll admit that we are sort of curious how Elisabeth van Lawick van Pabst-Koch would handle this. Probably by not living in fucking Texas.
And for more Texas fuckery, how about this? Former Speaker of the House Jim Wright was denied a state ID card last week when he dropped by the Department of Public Safety to get an updated ID. He had his university ID and his Texas driver's license -- which expired three years ago (he's 90 and presumably doesn't drive?) -- but the DPS didn't feel they were sufficient. Guess he didn't have his concealed-weapon permit handy.
Poll workers will be the ones who decide whether the names on photo IDs and the voter rolls are similar enough for people to go ahead and use the affidavit; we're sort of hoping that somebody decides that "Gregory Wayne" doesn't seem close enough to "Greg" that they insist on a DNA test or something. Seems like a small enough price to pay to make sure that nonexistent voter fraud is prevented.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.