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It is an ironclad law of conservatism that white men are ALWAYS the victims, and James Damore is a law-abiding resident of Whinyass Conservative Snowflake Land. We read his tearjerker complaint this morning, and now we are stupider. Sure Google is being sued for underpaying female employees at every level of the company. But if you think about it, aren't the real victims here those overpaid white dudes who have to sit in on diversity training where people talk about how cool it would be to have equal numbers of male and female employees? And when they say, "Hey, maybe women get paid less because they are biologically disposed to care more about kids than their careers," their coworkers call them assholes. And that is bullying and discrimination. So Google should give James Damore one billion Ameros, please, and hire him back to the company where he can educate his coworkers on the beauty of patriarchal families, divinely ordained heterosexual unions, and the sanctity of the gender pay gap.

BOO FUCKING HOO.

Damore was fired for barfing a bunch of pseudo-science arglebargle onto the internal Google server, purporting to prove that workplace diversity is weakness and gender pay disparities arise from biological differences. Here are some fun excerpts.

It's like the yin and yang. You need a little authoritarianism to balance out your compassion for the weak.

See, girls! You're not underpaid. You're just fulfilling your biological destiny.

Maybe if you stopped being so neurotic, you would be able to negotiate properly for your salary! Also, too, "viewpoint diversity is arguable the most important type of diversity." So don't you think it's important to have conservatives around telling everyone that gender IS NOT a social construct?

In highly progressive environments, conservatives are a minority that feels like they need to stay in the closet to avoid open hostility ... Alienating conservatives is both non-inclusive and generally bad business because conservatives tend to be higher in conscientiousness, which is required for much of the drudgery and maintenance work characteristic of a mature company.

Look, we could go on with this shit all day long. Damore published his screed, people called him a dick, Google fired him, and now he wants to paint himself as a victim of political discrimination. And in a broader sense, his lawsuit touches on a fundamental issue of our time: What happens when a major political party is taken over by racist wingnuts? If David Duke won the Republican nomination, would Klan bumperstickers at work be protected political speech?

Thankfully, we're not there yet. And Damore's suit is just a bunch of whining by an asshole who wants to shoot his mouth off and call it conservatism. Another named plaintiff was fired for suggesting that a co-worker's trip to Pakistan made him a legitimate terrorism suspect. Google refused to host Alex Jones, which is supposed to be damning evidence of conservatives being censored. It's all bullshit. California law protects people from being fired for their political affiliations, but it doesn't shield you from the consequences of being an asshole at work. Damore wasn't fired because he voted for Trump, or advocated for a flat tax, or had a Build the Wall bumper sticker. The guy got canned for saying that it's a sciencefact that girls can't tech. And you're entitled to your own stupid opinion, but you're not entitled to insult your coworkers. Particularly not in an at-will employment state.

JFC! THESE CONSERVATIVES WITH THEIR SAFE SPACES!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Please buy us smart pillz. We red that lawsuit, and now we r dum.

[Damore v. Google]

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

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[Washington Post]

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