Because we're all about "service journalism," you can guess what happened after we read this e-mail:
With today's guilty plea of Les Crawford, I have now officially lost count how many Bush administration/Congressional Republicans have been indicted/convicted/abruptly resigned "to spend more time with their families." Any chance that you could pull together the full, exhaustive list for the rest of us? Thanks in advance.No, Steve L., thank you. This is just the kind of numbingly banal work we were meant to do. Join us after the jump, for The List.
THE CROOK LIST
by Wonkette, 7th grade
(Surely we missed a few dozen. We'll update this wretched thing as necessary.)
Ken Lay -- indicted, convicted, sentenced, killed
J. Clifford Baxter -- sued over Enron ripoffs, killed
Thomas Noe -- Coingate/Bush Pioneer indicted, convicted, imprisoned
David H. Safavian -- Bush aide/Abramoff agent indicted, resigned, convicted, imprisoned
John Ashcroft -- why did Soaring Eagle resign? Plamegate? Anyway, he immediately became one of K Street's top lobbyists.
Michael Brown -- resigns as FEMA boss after Katrina disaster
Scooter Libby -- indicted, resigned
Jack Abramoff -- indicted, convicted, imprisoned, still bringing people down
Lil' Jacks -- Ralph Reed, Grover Norquist, Michael Scanlon, Conrad Burns, John Doolittle, James Dobson, Richard Shelby, various other crooks
Duke Cunningham -- indicted, resigned, convicted, imprisoned
Kyle "Dusty" Foggo -- resigns No. 3 CIA post, investigated by CIA Inspector General over Hookergate
Porter Goss -- resigns CIA chief job along with Foggo
Claude Allen -- Bush's top domestic policy adviser resigns to "spend more time with family," actually caught robbing local department stores
Andrew Card -- Resigns as CoS to "spend more time with family"
Scott McClellan -- Resigns as WH spokesman to spend more time with Andrew Card's family
Tom DeLay -- resigns as Speaker and then as congressman for being a crook & all-around asshole
William H. Lash -- assistant secretary of commerce, "shoots self"
Bob Ney -- indicted, convicted, resigns, rehab, prison
Ted Stevens -- Feds raid family offices and homes in Alaska
Mark Foley -- resigned, rehab, FBI investigating
Susan Ralston -- resigned as Karl Rove's special aide after Abramoff bribes revealed
Curt Weldon -- FBI raids homes and offices of family and business associates; grand jury about to indict
Lester Crawford -- resigns FDA, indicted by DoJ, pleads guilty