The Furious Rise of the Non-Anonymous Blogger

Salon has written a timely and important article about anonybloggeranamouses (whatever). Apparently, their anonymity lets them wield "long knives." They are able to accuse people of anti-Semitism and not knowing how to spell "yarmulke" with impunity. "[J]ournalism experts" (who knew?) say that "they are operating outside of any reasonable ethical line."

We're incensed. We're practically aflame.

We said the Bush girls drink baby Jew blood. We told you that Scalia will spend his summer on Martha's Vineyard in exchange for a favorable ruling on Cheney's energy commission case. We have made numerous claims about various public figures giving and receiving blow jobs.

But just because Wonkette isn't anonymous, these ludicrous allegations get ignored? What does a girl have to do to get attention?

OK, here goes. . . .

Lucianne Goldberg is really Tom Waits in drag. Jenny 8. Lee sells crack to school children. Sid Blumenthal is lousy at tennis. Al Sharpton is really a tool of a GOP operative bent on sabotaging the Democrats. . . Oh wait, that's true. And, oh yeah: Christopher Farah once worked as W's maid, was raped by him and then forced to get an abortion.

Hope that'll do.

The Fix: I know you are but who am I? The furious rise of the anonyblogger. [Salon]

Correction: The item about Lucianne Goldberg is satire. She's actually Bea Arthur in drag.

Correction: The item about Jenny 8. Lee is satire. She only sells crack to pregnant sex slaves. Further correction: Pregnant, underage sex slaves. Still, technically not school children.

Correction: The item about Sid Blumenthal's athletic ability is a satire. He plays excellent tennis.

UPDATE: Oooh, ooooh! Catfight!

The Man Nobody Knows [Soundbitten]

Anonymity. Give it a try [Radosh]


Every night I tell myself I am the cosmos [Number One Hit Song]

It's the Death of Journalism! [Gawker]

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Blanket Disclaimer: Spitting on anybody is dead wrong. Even if it's a Trump.

Still, Eric Trump got to eat a tiny slice of the shit pie women, minorities, poors, disabled, and all of the other people who are deemed "takers" or who come from "shithole countries" experience at some point in their lives: He got spit on. By a woman, according to Breitbart (no link), because we are evil. Woe unto the wealthy white man! Wealthy white men are some of the most abused and marginalized people in the Universe, according to wealthy white men, and Eric Trump is no exception. Please cry for wealthy white men, ok you can stop now. Another group of Americans that are constantly abused, marginalized, and even denied their rights by the very same type of wealthy men that spawn such men as Eric Trump, are called "women." And apparently we are mean as fuck now.

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Well folks, we think we have a geopolitical relations first for an American president. We might need to consult with Doris Kearns Goodwin or Kevin Kruse, but we cannot recall a time one of America's purported enemies OR friends has called the president of the United States "retarded" or anything along those lines. We remember leaders hating American presidents. We remember them recoiling like UGH GET OFF ME when an American president tried to give them a friendly sensual love massage during the G8. We remember them literally attacking our democratic elections in order to prevent the inaugurations of potential presidents they despise and fear. But we don't remember anything like this.

President Hassan Rouhani of Iran, commenting on Donald Trump after the Trump administration threw some new sanctions at Iran on Monday:

Iran warned Tuesday that new U.S. sanctions targeting its supreme leader and other top officials meant "closing the doors of diplomacy" between Tehran and Washington amid heightened tensions, even as President Hassan Rouhani derided the White House as being "afflicted by mental retardation."

Here is the full quote, in case you were wondering if something was lost in translation, like that time Vladimir Putin called Trump "brilliant" and Trump was so excited he left a ring of orange jizz around the bathtub, but what Putin actually said in Russian more accurately translates as "colorful" or "shiny." There's no confusion here:

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