The Horrible Tale of David Paterson's Sex Affair

Christ on a stick...David Paterson got off to a hot start to his hours-long New York governorship tonight by telling the New York Daily News that he had an affair with a lady for years. But how could he even know what he was doing -- maybe he thought he was meeting Eliot Spitzer at a T.G.I. Friday's, and couldn't tell the difference? Well, he confessed, so we'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he is not making up this affair. What points will you need for cocktail hour this morning at your job?

  • But it's not just him! His wife also had a horrible affair during a "rocky" stretch of their marriage. But she's not the governor, and she's pretty, so obviously she would have affairs.
  • He had his affair, with an ex-girlfriend, from 1999 to 2001. It was at a Days Inn on the Upper West Side, a bastion of sex, lies, heroin and politics.
  • He denies rumors that the sex affair spawned a love child from Hell. Republicans have been spreading this rumor from Hell (Albany).
  • He denies ever using campaign cash for his sex affairs. But that does not explain how he caused 9/11:

    Records show that in September 2001, then-Sen. Paterson's campaign spent $456.46 for two nights at what was then called the Quality Hotel at 215 W. 94th St. One check was dated Sept. 10 -- the day before the 9/11 attacks -- and the other Sept. 24. Both are listed as "office" expenses.

  • Asked if he had stayed with anyone else since 2001 at the same West Side hotel, Paterson said, "From time to time I used to take Michelle to that hotel." ... Gross?
  • Oh: "He and his wife went to the West Side Days Inn when they were trying to rekindle the romance in their marriage, he said." Yes, well, that is kinky and horrifying.

Gov. Paterson admits to sex with other woman for years [NY Daily News]


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