fark you farking cockaroaches

Sorry, DEBATE CHEATERS HILLARY CLINTON AND LESTER HOLT, but the definitely not insane people at TruePundit have figured out your wily game!

A comprehensive video has surfaced that rather convincingly shows Hillary Clinton using hand signals like a third base baseball coach to prompt moderator Lester Holt to quickly call on her to counter comments by opponent Donald Trump during Monday’s first Presidential Debate.

The video breaks down each one of Clinton’s movements which are followed by either Holt calling on her to comment and retort with what she believes is a zinger or Holt attacking Trump’s dialogue. Apparently in a move lifted right out of a high school cheating for dummies book, Clinton is seen scratching her nose and face to signal Holt several times.

Before critics view this video and scream Conspiracy, True Pundit cross referenced Clinton’s speeches, campaign appearances and her 2008 debate performances against President Obama. According to that analysis, Clinton never previously used these hand motions to supposedly scratch her face. In fact, she rarely touches her face at all. (So, you haters can save the trouble of instructing people to remove their tin-foil hats.)

My goodness, let us watch this thing!

Well, those first three minutes we watched were PRETTY CONVINCING, showing as they did that Hillary Clinton scratching her face was a signal to Lester Holt to throw the question to her that he had just thrown to Donald Trump, for her "zinger" reactions. (Because usually in debates, you don't ask the opponent to respond to the candidate's assertions, everyone knows that is how debates don't work!)

(Also, they claim that looking at Holt is a secret signal that Hillary Clinton wants a chance to address something, which ... is usually how that works!)

But, hmmm, what is this? Their third example of Hillary Clinton scratching her face doesn't end with Lester Holt throwing the question to her? That's okay; TruePundit explains that's because "this is where the signal got crossed."

So, if you're like us, that's where you stopped watching, because fuck this unfalsifiable bullshit where one thing is proof of a conspiracy and that same thing not happening is also proof of the same conspiracy, you fucking rejects.

Anyway, we're not sure why we need to prove Hillary Clinton was cheating, since Donald Trump definitely won the debate.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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